Leave Your Shoes and Karma at the Door

The journey to Enlightenment is a long and winding road.  I went to the Zen Center last night as Wednesday is the night I have set aside for group chanting and group seated meditation.  I was thinking of all kinds of reasons not to go last night. The biggest was easy:  the heat.  I was thinking: is that dharma room air conditioned?  You see, it’s all about me and my comfort…well, it shouldn’t be.  Anyway, I went and the dharma room is the only room in the place that has air conditioning.  Perhaps they don’t want people passing out all over the place.  We humans love to complain though.  “Oh it’s hot….it’s cold…it’s humid…it’s…”  Just deal with it.

I went and was pretty much distracted the whole time.  Wednesday has a lot going on that doesn’t occur on other nights.  It is the night they teach new visitors how to meditate and the rules of the place and then they join us in the dharma room at 7:30 for seated meditation.   Plus, Wednesday night is the night there is a Dharma Teacher or Zen Master present to do kong-an interviews with those who have things they would like to discuss in private.  As the meditations take place, a bell is rung when the teacher is ready for the next private meeting.

Anyway, I had trouble reading the chant book (I need to bring my reading glasses).  I was distracted by the sound of the air conditioner and that bell.   Then there were a large number of new people that came in at 7:30 which surprised me based on the heat.  The most interesting thing that happened during seated meditation was watching a bug crawl around on the hardwood floor.  It had trouble with every crack.  Watching this did help me stay in the moment but otherwise, I had trouble keeping my mind clear last night.

I spoke with a few people after meditation and they go on different nights often as there are none of these distractions on other nights.  No interviews and no new people coming in halfway through the evening.  I think I am going to start going on Tuesday nights instead of Wednesdays.  I need to have as few distractions as possible to get the most out of meditation.  Some would say one should be able to meditate through anything, even a tornado.  I guess I need more progress to get there.  One day at a time and all that.

It was a good night.  It was around 95 degrees out and humid.  I had time to go home before I went so I was able to change into shorts (comfort is certainly helpful while meditating).  I also went barefoot as it seemed like the right thing to do (you have to take your shoes off at the door anyway).  There’s something about walking into a place barefoot (and having it be okay) that gives one a sense of freedom.  That may sound silly and silly is okay.

When I pulled into the Zen Center, I was greeted by a rabbit that was hopping around the property.  Rabbits seem to be everywhere lately.  It was warm and I’m not going to complain about the heat.  I like it.  It does shock the system a bit to go from 75 to 95 in one day but our systems are tough.  People complain and say “when is summer going to arrive?” and then when it does, they complain that it’s too hot.  Why not except things as they are?  Can you control the weather or temperature?  No…so don’t sweat it (no pun intended…well actually it was intended).

Peace and clear mind.  Enjoy the summer.  If you feel like checking out the Zen Center (in Cumberland, RI) check it out.  You don’t have to be a Buddhist.  You just have to be human.  Personally, I don’t believe in religion.  I believe in God.  Buddhism is a philosophy for me.  Buddhists believe in God also by the way.  Buddhists accept everything and everyone.  Just leave your shoes and karma at the door…

A Humbling Six Hours of Meditation Retreat

Most of what you carry around isn't "you."  Most of what the world sees of me isn't "me." - Zen of Ken

Spent seven hours at the Zen Center yesterday, maybe the nicest day of the year so far.  Sunny, warm and wonderful.  A great day to be outside doing anything.  I spent most of that time inside meditating.  Nancy was the Dharma teacher running the show.  There were a couple people from the Kwan Um school in Lexington and four from the one in Barnstable, a kid from Franklin and then some residents and regulars.  A very good group of people. The kid from Franklin was a bit stressed out but we all had our reasons for being there. 

I had my first interview with Dharma teacher, Nancy, from Charlestown, RI.  Nothing of interest to tell there.  I had no profound questions to ask or questions on anything I am struggling with.  So, she just suggested I breathe with my abdomen not my chest…I’ll have to read up on this but practiced it.  I guess it is a more relaxing way to breathe?  I guess I should have asked her.  I had plenty to talk about but the words didn’t come to me.  I’m still a serious newbie. 

Six hours is a long time to meditate especially when you can look outside all day and see how sunny and know how warm it is.  A great way to spend half the day with no worries and no thoughts, however.  No stress with no yesterday and no tomorrow.  Live for what is going on NOW.  That’s what we did today.  That is Zen!

The day started at 9:00 with all of us on the retreat meeting at the Zen Center in Cumberland, RI.  We got some instruction, put on our robes and headed for the dharma room.  Seated meditation started at 9:30.  We did 25 minutes, then 10 walking, 25 more seated, etc.  Six hours is definitely a challenge for anyone's knees, including mine. 

We did do one walking meditation outside in the woods around the property and sat for one 25 minute session in a circle in a clearing around a fire pit.  It was sunny and warm.  It would have been nice to spend the whole day outside.  There was a swampy pond outside and it was full of frogs making their spring noises (early for that but we've had great weather and everything appears to be happening early when it comes to the outdoors).  There are a lot of trails on the property and I have been told I can ride them on my bike.  I just have to stay away from the monastery and around 3:00 the monks do a walking meditation outside and they are to be left alone and given their distance.

We ended the day with a few chanting meditations and then a late lunch.  Everyone's stomaches were growling towards the end as we were all hungry, having had no food since breakfast (whatever we all ate before we showed up).  There was quite a feast: salad, cole slaw made with fruit (yummy), soup, lasagna, rice, water.  We all got to discuss how the day was for us.  Everyone was being positive except the young kid from Franklin who said the day "sucked" for him.  He made us all laugh as he was being a bit tongue in cheek (yet brutally honest).  Like everything, nothing always works and not always going to be a good experience. I don't know what his journey is so don't know why it was a bad day for him.

It was a good day for me.  Peaceful.  Nice to not think for most of that beautiful day.  I had no great revelations or anything regarding my meditations.  Just peace and the past and future did not exist during that pleasant day.  While inside we heard birds singing and the same when outside.  I also saw a male and female Cardinal doing their spring thing.  And again, the frogs.  All of God's creatures were living in the now, not thinking about anything but the moment.  I rode home in silence.

God bless and I hope everyone reading this has a good and pleasant week!

Eating With The Buddhists

Had a great night last night at the Zen Center.  Ate dinner with the group for the first time.  We had a humble meal of soup (which was delicious, spicy) and rice (sticky brown rice) and water to drink.  Was nice to sit with some of the members and chat.  It's hard to feel uncomfortable at this place when everyone is so nice and mellow.  After their bowls are empty, they put tea in them and drink it as a way to clean the bowl and get every bit of food.  Interesting practice.  I did it.  We prayed before the meal and after.  We sat on the floor just like the picture above.

I then sat and relaxed in the common area while waiting for the first meditation, a chant.  I read a bit from "Only Don't Know" while I was waiting.  It is a collection of letters to a Zen Master.  I read a letter from a gentleman that was in prison.  He sent it to the Zen Master.  He was studying Zen in prison and wanted to know how he could learn more.  The Zen Master had a great answer.  He said that prison is a great place to practice Zen because his body is incarcerated but his mind is not.  You don't need the body for Zen.  It's about the mind, clearing the mind, not thinking.  The prisoner also wanted suggestions on what to read.  The Zen Master said it wasn't necessarily good to read about Zen and not necessarily bad.  That is Zen.  No opinion.

Here's a kong-an for you:  You are tied to a tree and bound and holding on to a branch only with your teeth.  If you let go, you will hang yourself.  Your master comes along and asks you a question.  You must answer or you will be shot.  If you answer, you die because you end up hanging yourself.  If you don't answer, you will die because you will be shot.  How do you answer without dying?

I don't know the answer.  Not knowing, not having an opinion is Zen.  My gut tells me to answer the question and be the master of your own destiny.  Buddhists believe in reincarnation anyway so the belief is we are always here and eventually no longer need to come back as human (when one reaches Nirvana).  So, you answer and you don't really die.  There is no right answer and needing to be right is not Zen.  So...

Chant meditation started at 6:30 and went for an hour.  I'm getting better at my bows.  Not any better at chanting but only my second time.  The idea is to not think about anything but the chant and I for sure can only think about the chant as I don't know them well.  They are in Korean and we have a chant book that gives phonetic pronunciations.  There is one chant that is in English.

I then sat in on an hour of seated meditation.  25 minutes seated, 10 minutes walking meditation and then another 25 seated.  The walking in between helps get the circulation back in your legs and feet.  It was a good night.  The meditation ending with the young lady who led the seated meditation discussing the importance of God in our lives.  This made me feel more certain that I am hanging out at the right place.

I rode home in silence (no radio on in the car).  Makes no sense to deal with noise after all of that quiet time.  Speaking of noise: we have too much noise in our lives both literally and figuratively.  I have noticed recently that many days I come home from work with my ears ringing.  This is from the day's noise and the cranked radio on the ride home doesn't help.  Then there is all the crap in our heads which, to me, is also noise.  My goal is to get rid of a lot of that noise and find a more peaceful place in general (not ocassionally). 

Reduce the noise and get closer to God!

Chanting Meditation and Dharma Talk

First off, for some reason, most times when I attempt to type the word "meditation" I end up typing the word "medication" instead.  I find this interesting as meditation is like medication for the soul.  I actually take a lot of medication and would like to rid my body and mind of that need.  Not sure if I will ever be rid of the need for the meds for physical issues.  But, reducing stress can make one healthier.  I read once that about half the people in hosptials on any given day have ailments that developed as a result of stress

Anyway, I also want to say that I am disappointed that I missed the one day retreat this past Sunday at the Zen Center in Cumberland, RI.  I was still battling pneumonia.  The next one is on March 18th and I will be there.

Last night I atended my first Chant meditation.  I arrived early and bought a long sleeved t-shirt and a book in the gift shop.  Yes there is a gift shop with some nice things.  I am addicted to t-shirts so of course I had to have one that says Providence Zen Center on it (I'll be wearing it tomorrow for dress down Friday).  The book is also a good one for a newbie like me to read.  The book is:

 "Only Don’t Know: Selected Teaching Letters of Zen Master Seung Sahn."

I was about a half hour early so I meditated by myself in the dharma room (the meditation room).  I also wanted to find a more comfortable seated postion for myself as I have bad knees.  That lotus postion is just tough for me to do for any length of time and pain can take away from the meditation experience.  I tried a small stool that you sit on, kneel in front of and put your legs under the stool.  It was much more comfortable. 

The chanting meditation started at 6:30 and I was given a book with the chants.  Wow!  I had serious trouble keeping up and not losing my place.  I also have asthma so had to stop to catch my breath many times.  The idea with the chanting is that you can't think of anything but the chants (never mind they are in Korean and I have no idea what I was saying).  The idea of meditation is not thinking so it worked out pretty well as I had a hard enough time concentrating on the chants and keeping up with the group.  We did 2 half hour sessions. 

The second session also included a lot of bowing which taught me that I need to practice bowing.  I was all over the place.  We're talking bowing while standing then in a proper manner dropping to your knees and then bowing down to the ground.  Getting back up properly requires doing the exact same thing in reverse.  Again, lots of practice needed here.

At 7:30 we had a dharma talk.  This is more laid back.  The mats are put in a semi-circle and we just sat and had a chance to speak with the Zen Master (Jose) and a gentleman who is working to become one (he has been training for 8 years).  I had many questions but felt it was my time to listen not speak.  I want more time there before I get involved in these discussions.

It was a good night.  I was able to wash away some of the days' junk and the weeks' junk.  I plan to continue going on Wednesday nights.  I plan to go to that retreat on March 18th.  I may become a member of the temple but not sure if I have the time to devote as membership equals getting more involved.  Part of me also wants to do a 3 month retreat there.  I would meditate, etc. in the mornings (getting up at 5:00 each morning is required), go to work and then meditate etc. in the evening and on weekends and take part in work around the 40 acre property.  They have nice living quarters onsite for such purposes.  I would also have many chances to sit with the Zen Master and students at various levels. 

Right now I'm taking it all a step at a time.