Out of Body Experience…Today!

Hello.  Interesting day.  Work was good. It was a Monday and I embraced Monday and, as a result, enjoyed my day.  Many people plan to hate Mondays, so they do.  Plan to have a bad day and you are pretty much guaranteed to have one.  Plan to have a good day and you may not have one (in your opinion) but…it is much more likely that you will.  There is really only one choice that makes any sense but many humans seem to enjoy making themselves miserable and then try to find someone or something to blame it on.

Okay…so to the topic.  I had regular out of body experiences in my late 30s.  I was around 37 and there was a 6 month or so period where I could have them at will.  It was wonderful.  I had them daily.  I bought a book on the topic and it said it could be addicting.  It sure was.  My spirit was always traveling.  I would mostly fly to the places I felt like going but sometimes I would find myself on a train to unknown places. By the way, when I said fly I don’t mean in a plane.  My spirit would fly.

I knew when it was going to happen.  I would hear noise in my ears and then I would leave my body through the top of my head.  In the book I read, it described it just like that.  The author described the noise as people talking (souls talking).  After reading that, I realized it did sound like that. Those were some great journeys.  I have not been able to do this now for a lot of years.  My experiences became fewer and farther between until I was about forty when the ability left me altogether.

Today was different.   I was out on my mountain bike.  It could have been an out of body experience or near death experience or an “I think I’m dying experience.”  It was hot so maybe it was just the heat but I was well hydrated.  Anyway…I was meditating on my ride.  I came to a point where the sky just looked serene.  The sun was shining through some clouds and I was overwhelmed with calm.  Then my chest got warmer and warmer and I briefly left my body.  I thought, but quite calmly, that perhaps I was having a heart attack and was going to die.  I didn’t panic as I was really ready to embrace the next place.  It wasn’t scary…it was peaceful.

Anyway, a short time later I was back, present on my bike and present on the trail.  It was a wonderful experience.  I don’t fear death.  Not because of what happened today.  I just don’t fear it.  I have faith.  It’s strong.  I’m strong.  God is within me!

Peace…

Why Do Mondays Get Such a Bad Rap?

I'm 48 years old and have spent most of my life listening to people complaining about Mondays.  It's like these people WANT the day to be lousy.  I also think people just like to have SOMETHING to complain about.    I have been guilty of falling into this trap myself but not anymore.  Monday is just a day like any other day.  We can do whatever we want with it.  We can have a good day or a bad day.  If we wake up and immediately expect it to be bad, then it probably will be.  Send out negative energy into the universe and generally you will get it right back.  Send out positive energy and get something positive in return.

I know I am changing because I could easily say I had a horrible day yesterday but I will not.  Let me explain some things I dealt with yesterday which was a Monday.  First, I went to work.  That alone gives many people something to complain about.  Well, we have to work so why complain about it?  It is just one of our many roles and without money, what can we do?  Hmmm...but let's complain about it.  Well, I mean no, let's not.

Second, I started passing a kidney stone before lunch.  I've had them before.  It was moving in my kidney and got more and more painful as the day went on.  When I started sweating, I decided it was a good time to leave (at around 3:00) and go see my doctor.

Third, when I got to my doctor's office I learned he had passed away.  Now understand, he has been my doctor now for about 10 years, my general practitioner.  The most kind and gentle doctor you could ask for.  The nurse who was there was completely unfriendly which was unusual as she was normally always quite pleasant with me.  I am sure she was having difficulty dealing with the loss of the doctor.  His replacement was not working yet so the nurse told me quite nastily, "You'll have to go to the ER."  Well, I didn't go to the ER.  My situation did not warrant a 4 hour wait at any ER.  The me from 10 years ago would have told this woman off or at least called her on her poor attitude.  I just let it go.  It had nothing to do with me and even if it did, no need to stress myself out and again, who knows what kind of pain she was dealing with whether the loss of the doctor or perhaps she was concerned for her job.  The old me wouldn't have thought this way.  The old me would have reacted and reacted in an unpleasant manner.  "Who are YOU to treat ME like this?"  What good would that do and who am I?

It turns out my doctor needed emergency surgery (not sure what for) and didn't make it through surgery.  The old me would have been a stressed out mess over this.  "Now I have no doctor."  "Who am I going to get for a doctor?"  "What will he/she be like?"  "How long will it take me to find one?"  etc. etc. etc.  I was amazed I handled it all quite well.  The old me would have also felt the grief of his death even if we were not really close.  I understand now that death is a necessary end to THIS human life but not the end of our eternal existence.  Anyway, I have to find another doctor.  I didn't need to find one that minute.  I will need one the next time I need one.  I decided to go home and ride out the pain on my own.

Fourth, on the way home, while in tremendous pain, I stopped at a convenience store and locked my keys in my truck while it was running.  I kid you not. I have never done this before and don’t even understand how I did it.  If it’s not hot out, I usually keep the truck running when I make a quick stop at a store.  I must have accidently hit the lock on the inside of the door or something.  My old car wouldn’t lock…it would unlock if you tried to lock it while it was running or while the key was in the ignition.  Anyway, the old me would have flipped out by now…in pain, no doctor and now no way to get home (not too soon anyway).  So I’m stuck at the store in a lot of pain and I was still calm and serene.  This is NOT normal for me.  I have definitely grown. 

Anyway, I went in the store, which I have been going to for years, and asked Don (the manager) to use the phone.  I called my wife and she came and got me about 20 minutes later (she has an extra key to my truck on her key chain).  I got in my truck and went home and right to bed after taking a couple Advil.  My wife woke me up at some point and gave me a sandwich but I only vaguely remember.  I slept through the night after much difficulty getting comfortable.

I woke up this morning with no pain.  The kidney stone moved to another spot in my kidney and for now is not moving which means: no pain.  It’s only a matter of time before it decides to move again.  I won’t concern myself with that now.  I will deal with it when it happens like I did yesterday.  Hopefully the next time it moves, it will come all the way out (which is another bunch of pain in itself…I think you all understand).

Now come on, Mondays aren’t so bad are they?  Life is a series of moments that are happening NOW.  Take care of them when they happen…don’t worry about them before they happen.  That is just silly.  How can we take care of a problem that hasn’t happened yet?  Why worry about it?  I handled what life handed me yesterday just fine.  Why would I not do the same at any time in the future?

Peace my friends and stop hating Mondays.  It’s just another day!

Meditation to Find Serenity - Clear Mind

I learned a mistake I was making prior to coming to the Providence Zen Center.  I have been meditating for over 11 years...maybe 12.  I believe meditation is for receiving answers from God.  Prior to the last few weeks, I would meditate and look for the answers.  If you're looking, you're mind is not clear.  So now, I understand the purpose of meditation is to keep the mind clear.  No thoughts.  Looking for answers = thinking.  Zen = no thinking. 

So, I have learned that meditating is to clear the mind of everything: no thoughts.  When the mind is completely clear, the answers will come (the receiver is on).  This happened to me this past Wednesday night. I meditated for a total of 2 hours.  I am sure I wasn't clear much of that time, but I was clear for some of it (and I will be more clear as I get better).

During that clarity, brought on by a clear mind, I was able to get an answer.  The answer was "get rid of the noise in your head...both literal and figurative."  Carrying around hate, fear, guilt, self-doubt, etc....this is all noise keeping us from being happy and serene, not allowing us to be compassonate and patient.

Now, you could easily ask "Well, what was the question?"  Essentially, the question was "How can I find true serenity?"  I didn't receive a text book on the subject from God. I got one piece of a puzzle that is unlikely to be finished when I die but, the more we get rid of noise and the closer we get to true serenity, the more happy we will be.  Nirvana shouldn't be the goal just like seeking answers isn't the goal.  Nirvana will come some day when it is time.  Answers will come when you are clear and when it is time.  We have to live in the now.  Now I have to go to the store so, go to the store.  Now, I am going to read so go read.  Now I am going to the gym, so go to the gym and workout.  Now I'm going to work, so go to work and work when you get there.  Now I'm going to meditate, okay, empty your mind. No thoughts or opinions.  Just do it.  If you're going to do anything, do it right and to the best of your ability.  That is Zen. 

Zen is also similar to the show Seinfeld.  It's about nothing!  When I say "nothing," I mean nothing in your mind = clear mind = when you will get your answers.  The more clear your mind, the more serenity you will find.

The more hours the mind is clear, the more serene you will be.  The more you will be able to help others will compassion and patience (and love).  Clear mind really forces one to live in the "now."  That was over-used at one point I think but it is true.  The time we spend having guilt, hate, anger etc. from the past fogs up our heads and is killing us. The time we spend dreading the future, fearing the future etc. makes us anxious and is killing us.  Keeping the mind clear keeps us in the now.  No baggage from the past and no concerns about what the future will bring = serenity.

Clear mind = serenity!

Igniting my Dharma Light

Did over 400 miles mountain biking in January.  400 was the goal so, cool.

Went to the Fatima Shrine in Holliston after work recently and formally gave it all up to God.  Lit some candles in the darkness of the night.  When I say gave it up to God...just looking for His guidance if it is His will to guide me.

Have had some good things going on.  I'm getting more focused and ridding myself of distractions (trying).  Was looking to volunteer my time somewhere and it hit me: I need something higher than that.  More than just giving a couple hours a week.  A higher purpose.  Something big that will allow me to be a better person and add something positive to the world.  Something that could lead to a new life path.  ZEN!

"Ignite your dharma light so that you may become a positive change agent for greater peace and acceptance in our world."  This is from some information I have read recently on Zen meditation.  There is a school near here in RI that teaches Zen meditation and can lead one on a path to becoming a Zen Master.  This school could very well become my second home if I feel like I belong there.

I'm going to the school Wednesday night for a one hour meditation and perhaps chat after.  Sunday there is a one day retreat that I am likely going to attend (will let you know).  Perhaps it's a cult and they will try to brainwash me :)

There is a school in Buffalo, NY that has a three year, six term, course that supposedly makes one a Zen Master.  It seems to me that real experience and a true calling would make for a better path.  But, that is me being stubborn and thinking I know better.  I have the curriculum for that 3 year deal and plan to cover it all myself with self study.

I am looking for serenity...