You Can’t Look For a Clear Mind

I learned that tonight.  Tonight was my night to go to the Zen Center but I decided to meditate at home instead.  I was craving the outdoors.  I meditated in a chair in my front yard, getting some sun on my face off and on as the sun set.

My first visitor was a spider.  There was a potted plant next to me and it must have been in there, seen me and decided I was worth checking out.  He just nudged my arm as he walked along the arm of the chair.  I knocked him onto the ground so he could take his business elsewhere.

I was also visited by the rabbit in the picture above.  A small one, young I guess.  He was living in the now, about to run as I was getting closer, living each moment in the moment.  Present!

I closed my eyes and enjoyed some sun.  There was a great red/orange light that penetrated my eyelids when the sun was shining.  It felt like my whole body was enveloped in that light.  The light later became yellow and eventually turned purple.

I also enjoyed all of the sounds of the outdoors.  One particular bird was singing away and almost seemed to be singing to me.  There were other birds all over.  I could also hear cars on the road and other sounds of the outdoors.  I listened and enjoyed every minute.  I was one with the sounds instead of being a bystander.

I had a big smile on my face for much of this meditation.  I didn’t even realize that I was smiling because I was living in the NOW!  My mind was clear and I accepted what was developing around me.  It was peaceful.  Serene!  If we allow ourselves even brief moments of such noiseless (no junk in our minds) living, the better we will be.  The more often we can be free of noise in our heads, the more it becomes a habit…the more we enjoy life and the longer and happier we live.

I meditated for 2 hours.  It was great.  The past is history and the future is a mystery.  Live now because now is all we have.  Our minds just try to fool us into thinking otherwise...

For a short time today I was truly PRESENT!

Overnight Stay at PZC - Not Good Not Bad

Okay.  I didn't have a great night last night.  I went to the Zen Center in Cumberland planning to stay overnight after 2 hours of meditation.  I knew I was going to be late for dinner so I ate before I got there.  On the website for the center there are pictures of some very neat and clean rooms (and I have seen some of these nice rooms).  I got to the Center with some time before the first meditation so I checked out my room.  Now, understand, this is not supposed to be something to complain about.  A room is a room just like food is food.  It serves a purpose but it certainly isn't supposed to be luxurious (just like food is about nutrition not taste) and I didn't expect it to be.  It was, however, very disappointing and I feel bad that I feel this way.  The room was dirty, dusty, dusty cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling, etc.  It appears my room was in a section of the building that had been igrnored for a long time.  I have seen some of the rooms there and they are very nice.

I had a choice of two twin beds: one that was soft and noisy and one that was as hard as a rock and quiet.  I slept on the noisy one.  After meditating until 8:30, I went to my room and settled in.  I had my laptop with me so I spent a little time on the internet (they have WIFI) and then I read until 11:00 when I went to bed.  I woke up at 1:30am and just couldn't fall back to sleep.  My asthma was also bothering me (probably due to all of the dust) and I didn't have an inhaler with me.  I was miserable but tried to stick it out until 5:00am when the gong would sound and we would all go to the Dharma Room for bows and meditation until 7:00.  I ended up going home at 3:00am.  I was exhausted.

The whole night was tough really.  I had trouble getting clear during seated meditation and my back was killing me.  I guess I picked the wrong night to stay overnight.  I was in a bad mood when I got there also (I was carrying around a lot of karma that I should have left at the door but was unable to).

Clear mind is the idea.  It was tough last night.  I will try again another time and soon.  How am I going to do a multi-day retreat if I can't handle a night?  Don't know...it's all a learning experience.  If you look for something, you won't find it.  If you clear your mind, it may find you.

Peace!

Walking Meditation and Other Ways to Meditate

What a concept.  Meditate while walking.  Sounds dangerous...but no, not really.  The concept of walking meditation is using the action of walking as a form of meditation. It allows us to become mindful and aware of who we are, what we do, and how our bodies exist. It gives us an easy point of focus and depending on how aware we are it can be an intense experience.  It gives us something to focus on besides our thoughts.  In seated meditation, one's thoughts can easily sneak in but while walking, you have things to concentrate on that distract you from thinking.  You have to pay attention to the pace of the group so you don't lag behind or walk into the person in front of you.  You can also look around the room or if you are outside, enjoy what is going on around you.  The idea is to not think about the past or future, just experience what is going on RIGHT NOW. 

Once during a walking meditation, we were outside and there were birds chirping and doing their thing.  The instructor said to become the birds.  Picture yourself as the birds.  If you can do it, you will be free of any nonsense in your head.  A friend of mine recently said "stop and smell the roses" so I came back with "stop and be the roses."  Very Zen!

Now I take this one step further.  I spend a great deal of time mountain biking.  What about mountain bike riding meditation?  If I spend my ride stewing about the day's events or other past events or stress about the future, my ride is not going to be very enjoyable.  So, when out riding I like to just stay in the moment.  Nothing else exists but me, the bike and the woods.  I experience nature and its beauty.  This past weekend I saw a pheasant, a house with a crazy amount of exotic birds on the property, turkey vultures, seagulls, I think a partridge but may be wrong on that one, cats, dogs, people and of course all kinds of trails.  Trails that are smooth, rocky, technical, hilly (up and down).  All kinds of good stuff to keep me in the moment and keep me from thinking of anything other than what is going on RIGHT NOW.  Right now thinking is peaceful thinking.

I also came across some tunnels, bridges, old train remnants, the Blackstone River, brooks and ponds and lakes.  The outdoors is a great adventure for me and I like to document my rides with lots of pictures.  Perhaps too many pictures as my rides seem to be getting shorter and the amount of pictures is increasing.  I want to get a nice digital SLR.  I also want to ride more.  It's all about balance.

Back to walking meditation.  I can do this at work.  At mid-day it makes a great stress reliever.  I used to walk during the day and think about all the "stuff" that was driving me crazy.  Whether it was work stuff or life stuff.  Now I have learned to think of nothing while I walk at work.  I just pay attention to my walk and the things I come across.  This is how to take a break and relax: DON'T THINK ABOUT ANYTHING BUT THE MOMENT.  Otherwise, how are you going to relax?  Thinking about the past doesn't help you relax and sweating the future doesn't help you relax so, STOP DOING IT! 

Working out at the gym can be meditation also.  Just think about the exercises and do them.  Look around and soak up the atmosphere but leave the un-productive thoughts at the door.  When you are at the gym, life's "stuff" does not exist.  It is just you and your workout(s).  It's you and the others there and their workouts.  It's the music, the noise, the sweat.

True Zen Masters are supposedly in a meditative state all the time.  This simply means they are ALWAYS living in the moment.  This is a tough thing to achieve, but the closer you can get, the happier and closer to serentiy you will be!

Peace!  Clear your mind!

The Zen of Simon

Simon (my ragdoll) is very Zen.  He spends much of his time meditating as you can see here.  He definitely lives in the now.  Now he wants to nap…so he naps.  When he wants to he will: eat, drink water, clean, stare at me, walk around the house talking and so forth.  He focuses on the task at hand.  He follows the just do it philosophy. 

He’s not carrying around any baggage.  He doesn’t feel bad about the smell of the bombs he drops in the litter box.  He carries no ill will towards Carly (our other cat who’s half his size) even though she regularly jumps him and bites him.  He carries no remorse for the many times he has jumped on top of her, pinning her down. 

He’s not concerned about what will be after this nap.  He is napping therefore he is napping.  Nothing else.  Clear mind.  The future will be.  He is not concerned by it.  We humans have the ability to think ourselves into a nervous breakdown.  Simon epitomizes “no worries.”  We humans could learn a lot from cats.

Meditation to Find Serenity - Clear Mind

I learned a mistake I was making prior to coming to the Providence Zen Center.  I have been meditating for over 11 years...maybe 12.  I believe meditation is for receiving answers from God.  Prior to the last few weeks, I would meditate and look for the answers.  If you're looking, you're mind is not clear.  So now, I understand the purpose of meditation is to keep the mind clear.  No thoughts.  Looking for answers = thinking.  Zen = no thinking. 

So, I have learned that meditating is to clear the mind of everything: no thoughts.  When the mind is completely clear, the answers will come (the receiver is on).  This happened to me this past Wednesday night. I meditated for a total of 2 hours.  I am sure I wasn't clear much of that time, but I was clear for some of it (and I will be more clear as I get better).

During that clarity, brought on by a clear mind, I was able to get an answer.  The answer was "get rid of the noise in your head...both literal and figurative."  Carrying around hate, fear, guilt, self-doubt, etc....this is all noise keeping us from being happy and serene, not allowing us to be compassonate and patient.

Now, you could easily ask "Well, what was the question?"  Essentially, the question was "How can I find true serenity?"  I didn't receive a text book on the subject from God. I got one piece of a puzzle that is unlikely to be finished when I die but, the more we get rid of noise and the closer we get to true serenity, the more happy we will be.  Nirvana shouldn't be the goal just like seeking answers isn't the goal.  Nirvana will come some day when it is time.  Answers will come when you are clear and when it is time.  We have to live in the now.  Now I have to go to the store so, go to the store.  Now, I am going to read so go read.  Now I am going to the gym, so go to the gym and workout.  Now I'm going to work, so go to work and work when you get there.  Now I'm going to meditate, okay, empty your mind. No thoughts or opinions.  Just do it.  If you're going to do anything, do it right and to the best of your ability.  That is Zen. 

Zen is also similar to the show Seinfeld.  It's about nothing!  When I say "nothing," I mean nothing in your mind = clear mind = when you will get your answers.  The more clear your mind, the more serenity you will find.

The more hours the mind is clear, the more serene you will be.  The more you will be able to help others will compassion and patience (and love).  Clear mind really forces one to live in the "now."  That was over-used at one point I think but it is true.  The time we spend having guilt, hate, anger etc. from the past fogs up our heads and is killing us. The time we spend dreading the future, fearing the future etc. makes us anxious and is killing us.  Keeping the mind clear keeps us in the now.  No baggage from the past and no concerns about what the future will bring = serenity.

Clear mind = serenity!