Thoughts on God, Stephen Hawking and Other Brainiacs

That's young Stephen.  So I was watching the news or something recently.  Yes, I don't remember specifically what I was watching.  It's like that a lot lately.  Anyway...he said that there was no God or gods. To him, this God or gods would have had to be here before the big bang and he says there was nothing here before the big bang.  I disagree.  I'll get into it later...maybe.

I read his book, "A Brief History of Time," some years ago.  I forget everything I read.  I should read it again.  I won't.  I should read "Stephen Hawking for Dummies."  That would make more sense for me. BTW: Stephen has an IQ of 180.  Not too shabby...

Anyway, this declaration from him bothered me.  I guess this happens if someone or something makes you question your faith.  I'm human.  Stephen is human.  Stephen is some sort of genius I guess.  One of those "scholarly types."

I need to document what some other famous geniuses had to say on the subject:

Einstein:

He said he believed in the "pantheistic" God.  The Universe (or Nature as the totality of everything) is identical with divinity, or that everything composes an all-encompassing, immanent God.  He did not believe in a "personal god," a god that can be related to as a person. He thought it silly to think of God as anything like us humans (I agree). He also called himself agnostic, He considered himself agnostic out of humility. He didn't have the hubris to believe he had the absolute answer.  I like that.

Einstein was only about a 160 IQ.  Einstein wasn't as big an Einstein as I thought.  That might sound funny but, I just learned there are some close to and over 200.  Seriously?  Is the person giving the test smart enough to grade the test?  Is the person that created the test smart enough to know what the right answers really are?  Fascinating...

Here is what I learned:

Johann Wolfgang von Goethe:

IQ of 210.  210!  What?  I'll use a quote to judge what his thoughts are on God:

Nine requisites for contented living:

Health enough to make work a pleasure.
Wealth enough to support your needs.
Strength to battle with difficulties and overcome them.
Grace enough to confess your sins and forsake them.
Patience enough to toil until some good is accomplished.
Charity enough to see some good in your neighbor.
Love enough to move you to be useful and helpful to others.
Faith enough to make real the things of God.
Hope enough to remove all anxious fears concerning the future.

It appears Johann had a bit of a Zen mind.  That last one regarding hope, for example.  

Leonardo Da Vinci:

IQ of 205.  Damn!  Regarding the beliefs of Da Vinci, I seem to find a muddled mess of nonsense.  It appears many writers do not understand the difference between religion and faith.  As if you cannot speak of God without attaching some form of religion.

Many writers claim that Leonardo was a Catholic and thus, Christian.  Leonardo, being Italian, was most certainly born amidst a large amount of Catholics.  This certainly didn't mean he was Catholic.  In fact, he rejected Christianity.  He thought Christians were silly with their "cult of saints."  He thought it wiser to admire the virtuous people of one's own time, the ones who were known to be virtuous...not those virtuous by legend.

A lack of religion doesn't mean he didn't believe in God.  I have no religion.  I believe in God.  Here are a couple quotes that I like:

“Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else.”

“I have offended God and mankind because my work didn't reach the quality it should have.”

Regarding the first quote: very Zen. Everything relates to everything else. The second quote shows an obvious belief in God. Yes, you can believe in God without having any religion. Da Vinci, as incredible an artist and inventor as he was, always felt his work could have been better. He was a perfectionist to the extreme.  Perhaps that comes with an IQ of 205.

Gottfried Wilhelm Leibniz: 

IQ also of 205.  Leibniz was one of the great thinkers of the seventeenth and eighteenth centuries and is known as the last “universal genius”.  He made deep and important contributions to the fields of metaphysics, epistemology, logic, philosophy of religion, as well as mathematics, physics, geology, jurisprudence, and history.

Denis Diderot, atheist and materialist, was almost moved to despair with regards to Liebniz: “When one compares the talents one has with those of a Leibniz, one is tempted to throw away one's books and go die quietly in the dark of some forgotten corner.”

Central to Leibniz's philosophy was the view that God freely chose the best world from an infinite number of possible worlds.  He also felt that a person could act freely when the contrary of that action does not imply a contradiction.  Meaning?  Fate and free will could coincide together.  In many things, Leibniz felt that both sides could be right if they didn't clash with each other. This is very Zen.  Zen seems to pop up in much of the thinking of these early brainiacs.  Also...God!

John Stuart Mill:

IQ 200.  I was not aware of this gentleman until doing this bit of research.  Interesting guy.  We share some similar views on religion.  Here is a ridiculously long paper written by Mill.  I am going to read the whole thing soon.  I'm too tired right now.  I was just trying to find his thoughts on God.  I opened a can of worms with this guy.

Check this out if you are inclined: http://www.laits.utexas.edu/poltheory/mill/three/utilrelig.html

Mill believed in a “limited God,” a concept that he develops most fully in “Theism” written during the last years of his life. In this essay he does acknowledge that the most rigorous applications of modern scientific methods cannot rule out the argument from design as proof of God’s existence. Mill believed that the order of nature does in fact point to the existence of an intelligent mind conspiring to an end, to a God. 

Mill felt that God was not exclusively concerned with realizing the greatest possible happiness for the greatest number of human beings. This was one of the "limitations" he believed existed in God.  To quote Mill: "The limited God (and even Christianity) has produced some good, but it is now up to humans to build upon that good, to move on to the realization of the fullest human happiness."  Mill's religion was Humanity.  His intention was to create a non-theological religion and yet, much of his life was dominated by and guided by his study of religion (check out the link above and you will see what I mean).  He had tremendous animosity for "traditional" religion.

"It seems to me not only possible but probable, that in a higher, and, above all, a happier condition of human life, not annihilation but immortality may be the burdensome idea; and that human nature, though pleased with the present, and by no means impatient to quit it, would find comfort and not sadness in the thought that it is not chained through eternity to a conscious existence which it cannot be assured that it will always wish to preserve."

That's quite a sentence.  I like this guy (so far)...

Blaise Pascal:

IQ 195.  I only really knew of Pascal as the "math guy."  They also named a computer language after him back in the day.  

Of course, Pascal looked at the belief in God (or disbelief) as a math problem:

"If God exists then theists will enjoy eternal bliss, while atheists will suffer eternal damnation. If God does not exist then theists will enjoy finite happiness before they die, and atheists will enjoy finite happiness too, though not so much because they will experience angst rather than the comforts of religion. Regardless of whether God exists, then, theists have it better than atheists; hence belief in God is the most rational belief to have."

There are numerous other ways he looks at the logic or illogic of the belief in God.  He simply believes that those that believe in God live a better life whether they are right or wrong.

I like this guy also...

That's enough.  My OCD has kicked in. I will continue my research without the chains of this very long blog post.  I will return with additional thoughts from other brainiacs as I see fit.

Why Do I Run?

I have no idea.  I'm so sore right now.  The wife is about to watch Dancing With The Stars so I ponder.  Perhaps I am trying to regain my youth.  Perhaps I am simply trying to test my limits.  Of course, some people climb mountains to test their limits.  Some run across deserts.  Some swim across oceans.  It seems what I am asking of my body is not all that much.  Yet, my body is not cooperating.  It's not doing what I want it to do.  I refuse to accept that this is what 51 years old looks like for me.

In the picture above, I am 5 and my dad is in the background walking around the track.  I could run a mile in 9:00 when I was 5.  I have trouble keeping up that pace now.  I am hoping to be better once the snow is gone and I can run the trails more productively.

But...I'm lying to myself even now.  My legs are in rough shape.  I have some kind of shin pain.  I just looked it up on WebMD and it appears I likely just have simple shin splints.  I guess I never really understood what that truly is and how painful it can be.  I need to run on the front of my foot more (part of my laziness) and stay away from running on hard surfaces.  I figured out the latter on my own.

But...why do I run?  I started at a young age.  I took a break at 17 when I got confused with what was and who I was.  I was never the same runner again although I ran fairly regular through to my early 30s.  In organized sports I was forced to train regularly. I never took it tremendously seriously but left to my own devices, I slacked much more.

I wish I had today's drive in that young body.  Zen teaches that the past is the past.  It no longer exists.  I need to accept who I am today.  I am doing that on many levels.

Anyway...running.  I honestly don't know why it is so important right now.  It doesn't matter.  I should ride it out while I have the energy.  I just need to move...move with no apparatus...just my feet, body and mind.

I don't wear headphones.  I don't understand how anyone can have proper balance/coordination without hearing the world...hearing the wind, woods and critters.  I don't understand why anyone would block out the sounds of the woods or even the streets.  I love coming across critters in the woods.  This is cool:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vkemK00kPo4

Stuff like that happens in the woods.  The marvelous randomness of the real world...


That was all written yesterday.  It is now today.  The question is: why do I run?  I think it is mainly the no apparatus aspect.  Like...you could run anywhere...even if you had no shoes...

There is definitely a Zen to running...the freedom of being alone in the woods with just one's thoughts.  Or to be Zen and have no thoughts. Only experience what is going on around you and specifically, what is in front of you.  Whatever.  I used to do some of my best thinking while I was running.  I was like a machine in my youth.  I didn't appreciate it back then.  It was my "normal."

Now I do running meditations...sometimes I think and sometimes I don't.  Wax on, wax off.

I think I have a good plan to eradicate the shin splints.  I looked up some stretches and exercises and will do them every day.

Why do I run?  Because I can...

Like riding a bike with hemorrhoids...

It's no secret...I love the woods and love riding in the woods.  I love to bring a camera as a way to document my journeys and take pictures of interesting things I find.  I don't have hemorrhoids in this picture.

In the photo above, I am at the start of a trail that runs for 78 miles from the Douglas State Forest in Douglas, MA to the ocean at Blue Shutter Beach in Charlestown, RI.  I know where the whole trail goes but have never ridden the whole length of it at once.  Some day I will.  Below is a picture of Blue Shutter Beach...nice place...

The world can be so beautiful and yet, so ugly.  The ugliest things in the world are greed and hate.  In Buddhism, it is simple: do good and don't do evil.

Life is full of pain.  I'm an empathic person and sometimes I feel like I carry the weight of the world on my shoulders.  Like my own pain is not enough, I must carry every one else's as well.  This may sound insane but it is who I am.  This is why, over the last few years, I have decided that there is more to life than spending a large amount of my waking hours selling software or cell phones or any variety of other crap to crappy people.  I think I have a higher purpose.  I'm working on figuring out what that is and what it looks like.  A good start would probably be to not call people crappy but some just are...and that is their problem and doesn't have to be mine.

I know what it doesn't look like.  Life doesn't look like people treating people like pieces of furniture.  It doesn't look like people controlling people or hurting people or taking from people.  It doesn't look like a guy riding a bike with hemorrhoids.

I am a member of a Buddhist community.  Life looks pretty good there.  Life moves slowly.  People care about each other.  They care about what they eat.  They don't care about having any more than they need.  If they have more than they need, they give the rest to others in need.  The people at the Zen Center remind me of what the Native people must have been like.

There is a TV in one of the common rooms at the Zen Center and I have never seen it on.  I have never seen a cell phone or iPad or computer of any kind in use there.  It makes me wonder: how much of the "stuff" that we have do we really need?  How much of the stuff that we don't have but feel we need do we, in fact, really need?

What is a need?  Do people even know any longer?  Real needs are things like: subsistence, protection, affection, understanding, participation, leisure, creation, identity and freedom.  This morning I spoke to a 92 year old gentleman named Roland at an assisted living community.  I have to tell you, he looked like he was in his 70s at the most.  He wore a big smile and was happy to spend some time talking to me and I was happy to talk with him.  Someone there called him the mayor.  I'm pretty sure most of Roland's needs were fulfilled.  I don't know for sure if he has affection in his life today but I think he does and I know he has the rest.

Roland is one of those angels you come across in your life.  He teaches you a lesson if you are open to receive it.  I want to spend more time with people like Roland.  I don't want to ride a bike with hemorrhoids.  That is just painful!

Bees, Bugs and Ballyhoo...

 

So...it was a good weekend.  One thing that happened is a great example of Karma.  Well, it was two things that happened.  Saturday afternoon and evening we had some guests over.  One of the guests was a one year old little man.  Earlier in the day, one of our cats had been playing with some sort of insect in the house.  This is not an uncommon event so we didn't pay attention to what type of bug.  Cats are great for keeping bugs from attacking their humans and we are truly grateful for that.  Cats, of course, are known for helping with mice...well, they help with anything that moves that does not belong.
 
So, later in the day, that little man was playing on the floor in the living room.  Unbeknownst to us, the bee was in the area half-dead on the floor.  Little man sees the bee and picks it up and BOOM...the bee bites the little man.  Oh boy.  He did very well I have to say.  He cried for about two minutes and then let it go and was smiling in five or so minutes.  Have you ever been bitten by a bee?  This was a tough little kid.

Anyway, I was feeling bad, like it was my fault.  I should have known the cat was playing with a bee.  I should have known it was still alive.  I should have known it wasn't dead.  Etc...but that way of thinking is truly silly, yes? 

Well, the next day, today, I decide to go for a mountain bike ride.  Pretty normal thing to do on a beautiful weekend afternoon.  I get ready, grab my gloves and put them on.  Well, there was a bee in the right glove and it bit me right where the thumb and forefinger meet.  I was jumping all around the front yard, trying to get the glove off after I realized what was going on.  In my mind, the first second, I'm like "Why does my hand feel like it's on fire?"  To be honest, I didn't even see the bee.  I didn't have to.  It got me good as it had plenty of time to fully unload on me. 

Let me tell you, that little kid is tough.  That thing hurt for the whole bike ride and for a total of about three hours.  It was hard to hold the right side of the handlebars.  Moral?  Was it Karma or just a coincidence?  It did take away my guilt...so there's that...

This was the second time this year I got bit.  I tend to go without shoes as much as possible in the summer.  Early this past summer, I was walking across the lawn and stepped on a bee.  BAM!  The pain from that one didn't last as long as the one from today.  Two years ago I got stung three times at once.  I found out the hard way that there was a nest in a boxwood shrub in my front yard...I was trimming it and found a nest with the trimmer.  I'm lucky I didn't get bit more than three times. 

I used one of those long spraying insecticides for such a situation and destroyed whatever was living in that nest.  I also almost completely destroyed the boxwood.  That stuff is bad...pesticides.  It killed about one third of the boxwood and I almost decided to remove the boxwood and give it a decent burial.  It was dying slowly, mostly from the roots out.  I decided to let it live and see what I could do to bring it back.  I planted a rose bush in front of it and let nature take its course.  The shrub finally stopped dying and started to grow again.  This year, two years later I was able to tie it together and make it look normal. 

I'm not sure if there is a moral there.  Well, the moral I guess is use those pesticides wisely...use them only if you have to.  Do we have to?  I never will again.  But all karmic disturbances aside, it was a good weekend.  They're all good.  It's good to be alive, good to be alive to get bit by a bee, to have feelings, to go for bike rides, spend time with friends and family, feel the sun on our faces or the rain on our skin etc...all the things we sometimes take for granted.  Life!

Your homework: go outside and get bit by bee.  It will prove you are alive.  (Do not take part in this exercise if you are allergic to bees).  In fact, don't actually do this at all...just trying to make a point...

Peace and until next time: Gå og leve livet!

Gym Dorks...

Oh the gym.  This time of year I try get there three times per week and bike ride at least twice per week, sometime three.  It's harder to bike ride as it is dark after work so biking during the week means using my helmet light and riding in the woods in the dark which is actually quite awesome.  Some might say anyone wearing a light on his helmet is a dork...that's fair.  But, were miners dorks?

But seriously, there are some funny guys at the gym.  I didn't go much over the summer as I did a lot of bike riding and I haven't been as concerned about upper body work lately.  So I missed out on all the fun of people watching at the gym.  You see, I mainly ride the stationary bike so I have the luxury of watching just about everything that is going on in the main part of the gym.  The only thing I can't see is what's going on behind me on the other cardio machines (boring stuff anyway).  It would be great to film some of the stuff that goes on at the gym but these days that isn't so politically correct.  I could get thrown out on my ass for instance. 

Here's some of the types of guys there are at the gym...as they come to mind so no particular order and I may leave some out and have to add them at a later date:

The Hoverer:  This is the guy that finds a girl he likes so he goes and hangs around her.  Whenever she goes to different machine or station, he always makes sure he is nearby.  He of course thinks she's cute but he hasn't grown much emotionally since the seventh grade.  So, he doesn't talk to her...he just "hangs around" her.  She of course gets creeped out pretty quick but he is oblivious.  I mean, he's being smart.  You know, not getting too close.  How could she notice?  Dude...everyone is watching you follow her around and everyone is scared you're a serial killer. 

The Serial Killer:  This guy is usually older.  He just stares at women at length and won't even look away if they look at him.  There are a few too many of these at the gym.  These guys freak me out watching them stare at length at some of the women in the gym.  No wonder there are so many gyms that are just for women.  Hey, I check out women at the gym but I do it like a gentleman.  If you see one of these guys, kick him in the nuts.

The Walk By Guy:  This guy is smart enough not to hover around.  Come on...that shit is obvious.  This guy just walks by maybe seven or eight or ten times in a hour, checking out this one or that one's ass or boobs or both or whatever.  Perhaps he is impressed with her technique.  Yeah sure.  This guy is as gross as the hoverer.  This guy doesn't talk to anyone either and if she looks his way, he looks away.  Of course, not in an obvious way.  This guy occasionally may get reprimanded by the staff...hell, it happens to the hoverer too.  But do they learn?  Of course not.  They'll be back for more.  This guy generally has bad breath and B.O. and legs that look like they haven't seen the sun since before the turn of the century.

Muscle Guy and his Mini Guy:  Do you have a set of these at your gym?  I do at mine.  There's a big dude, maybe six feet tall and wide and in good shape, big arms and so forth.  Along side him is this mini version of himself.  This mini guy is like five foot two.  He's in good shape too but it's hard to notice.  He follows the big guy around like they are chained together.  He does all the same exercises and so forth.  I don't know their story but have spent some time trying to figure it out.  Either they are partners or the little guy is in love with the big guy but just plays the role as tagalong friend.  Perhaps his love is unrequited.  Or perhaps they are just simply friends and I have a creative mind.  Hey, I'm one of those guys that likes to watch people at airports and the Boston Common, etc. and make up stories about them, so...

Backpack Dude:  This guy is afraid someone is going to steal his stuff if he leaves it in a locker.  I get that but why not buy a lock?  If you can't afford a lock, how are you going to take someone out on a date after hovering and walking by?  This guy doesn't come in with his work clothes on either.  He comes in dressed to workout.  Perhaps he is afraid of the locker room?  Perhaps he has had that fear since the fifth grade.  That was the year that many of us had the new pleasure of having to take showers after gym in school.  You learn things then like: who's circumcised and who isn't.  Who's big and who isn't.  Who is perhaps further along in the hormone department...you know, the ones that are already abnormally hairy.

Sorry, I got off track.  This backpack dude...whatever is in that backpack, he carries it around from machine to machine the whole time he is there.  I imagine he has perhaps his keys and wallet, an extra shirt, extra underwear in case he soils the ones he has on...perhaps while doing squats and pushing just a little too much weight.  Oops!  What else could be in there?  The book "Merv: An Autobiography" by Merv Griffin?  Likely! 

Personally, I put my crap in a locker without a lock.  If someone wants my crap they can have it.  They need my stuff more than I do if they have to take my sweatpants and their sketchy smell, my extra t-shirt that honestly, I can live without and as it gets colder some sort of jacket.  You need a jacket?  Take my jacket...I have more at home, ones that I haven't been putting on my sweaty body after a workout. 

It's getting close to my time to finish up this evening.  Perhaps I will return another time with more interesting people from the gym.  If you go to the same gym regular and pay attention to what's going on around you, you all have experienced some characters. I would love to hear about them.  Feel free to share them in the comments section.  Now, I just remembered.  I only notice this stuff when I go at night (of course the gym is much busier then too).  When I go in the early morning, I pay attention to nothing as I am still not necessarily fully awake...

Until next time: Paz e que Deus bendiga!

Urinals are Totally Gross

Troughs to piss in...what a great idea.  I remember when I was very young, going to Red Sox games with my dad.  They literally had super long troughs to piss in.  These were not urinals...they were urintroughs.  Anyway, I couldn't even piss in those things as a young kid.  They looked like this:

 

 

I think they might have been green though.  I mean look at that ladies...you can't even get your men at home to get it all in the bowl.  How much urine do you think is on the floor in that picture...in that whole bathroom?  Believe it or not, a dozen guys could be pissing in that at once.  How is a little kid supposed to pee when all that is going on around him?  Who invented the urinal?  The Romans?  They seem like the types that would like to have a piss party.  I mean, that's what it was like at Fenway.  All kinds of drunk men and kids pissing all over the place.  The dudes drinking beer of course would work very hard to not spill any of their beer while they were pissing on the floor.  That makes sense. 

 

I bring up urinals because I am sick of having to stand with my legs three feet apart at the one at work so I'm not stepping in another man's urine.  There's just a single one like the first picture above and there's always a puddle under it.  Some guys maybe have short members and can't reach the thing?  Is that why some guys practically shove their whole abdomens inside those things?  You know, the ones that understand that ALL the piss is supposed to go in the urinal.  But seriously, the reason why there is so much piss on the floor is because there are guys that shake it all over the place when they are finishing up.  They just can't control the shake.  And by the way, if they shake it more than twice, they're playing with it.  Thank you!  I'll be here all night. 

 

Somewhere in my office and/or the others on the fourth floor are guys with piss on their shoes.  I mean on top for the ones with the shaking issues.  Some might even have some on the bottom of their pants.  Hell, some might have it all over.  If a guy comes out of the bathroom with one eye all bloodshot and partly closed, he likely pissed in it. Then there's times when the urinal is being used so guys go in the stalls.  GUYS...LIFT UP THE SEAT!  I swear some guys must fantasize about people sitting in their piss.

 

Many guys used to piss without washing their hands back in the day.  These days you can rest assured that MOST of the men you shake hands with don't have urine on those hands.  So there's that.  It's like Russian Roulette.  That's generally one bullet in a six shooter.  That's about right.  Probably one out of six guys doesn't wash his hands.  There was a Seinfeld episode where Jerry is dating a woman whose dad owns an Italian Restaurant.  The father is going to make them a special pizza.  Jerry is in the bathroom and the guy comes out of the stall, says hello and leaves without washing his hands.  He's off to make the pizza (he was sitting in the stall...you know, doing his sit down business).  Later, when it arrives at the table, Jerry can't eat it.

 

Now, how about porta-potties that have urinals?  Well look the next time...there's piss everywhere.  Half the guys in there are on the phone or texting and not even holding on.  Sometimes, at events, they have hand sanitizer outside the urinals.  That is certainly appreciated.  They should also have disposable gloves that you can wear when you go in so you don't touch any urine or whatever else is on the walls and floors and oh, how about that toilet seat?  Ladies, there's always piss on it right?  I feel for you all when I think about you having to hover.  Men do also if they have to do their sit down business.  Some men just sit in the mess.  They are usually the ones that piss all over themselves anyway.  Some men sadly, and maybe some ladies, will clean that thing before they sit down because they are just people that have to sit down.  I appreciate it when I go in after one of those.    Sometimes in life it's the little things. 

 

There's two kinds of guys that use urinals (well three if you count the guys that piss all over the place).  There's the ones that unzipping is all they need to do their business and then there's the ones that have to unbutton their pants and undo their belts and have it all out there.  They're being smart though... they don't want to piss on their pants.  I have a great story from work at NYNEX.  This was back in the early 90s.  There was only one lady's room and one men's room.  One day they decided to renovate the lady's room so they decided to let them use the men's room and the men had to use porta-potties outside until the work was finished.  Back then I used to smoke.  I'm outside one day smoking and this guy I work with comes out of the portable piss palace with a huge piss stain on his pants.  They were beige.  This was a dark stain about six inches across.  I was like, "Dude, you pissed all over yourself."  He responded, "Oh that's nothing" and he walked away.  I was mortified.

 

Guys...get it ALL in the urinal or whatever you're pissing in and if you're pissing in the stall, LIFT THE SEAT!  We really don't want to sit in or step in your piss!  When I say "we" I mean us people that don't like strangers' piss on us...we don't even want our own piss on us like some of y'all...

 

Music

It's no secret (if you know me) that I'm passionate about music.  There are only a few things that I am truly "passionate" about and music is one of them.  I can't play any instruments worth a damn but that's okay.  The first instrument I picked up was a ukulele.  I got it as a gift when I was like three?  Anyway, I immediately loved it and played it left handed.  I didn't know that accepted way and most play guitar-type instruments right handed.  I loved that ukulele.  Then, a short time after having it, someone (I can't recall who) told me I was playing it wrong.  So they turned it around and told me that was the correct way to play it and to play it like that going forward.  Well, in a short time it wasn't fun anymore and I moved on to something else.  I wonder what would have happened if I had the strength of character and knowledge of myself at that young age to just keep on playing it the way that was comfortable and made sense.  Well, we can't live in the past.

That story reminds me of a story I heard from a motivational speaker.  A very young girl is in an art class with the rest of the students in the class.  Maybe first grade (I don't recall exactly).  Anyway, she paints a nice picture of a sky and grass and a tree and a house.  It's essentially a landscape.  She calls the teacher over to show her the wonderful work she did.  The teacher praises her and then says, "There's just one thing missing," and proceeds to paint a bird flying in the sky, just a simple v-shaped bird in flight.  The little girl started balling her eyes out.  Why?  Well, you can figure out the answer to that one...

The next instrument I attempted (against my will) was the piano.  I was 6 years old when the nightmare started.  My sister was made to play along also.  She was a year older.  Our first teacher was like Dracula, or at least he was to me as a 6 year old.  He lived in a dark and dingy old mansion near downtown.  He was tall, pale, walked quite erect and didn't smile.  I hated it there as did my sister.  I'm not sure how long it was before we switched to another teacher who worked out of the town's only music store/head shop.  This was 1970. 

Why were we taking piano lessons?  My parents bought a Yamaha upright and well, they didn't buy it to collect dust.  Why didn't THEY play it?  I never learned to play the piano over several years of lessons.  I just played notes.  I did enjoy playing some songs but there was no heart or passion in those songs, just notes.  I never understood what to do with those damn pedals either.  I used to pretend (while I was forced to practice) that it was some kind of crazy car and the three pedals were, of course, a clutch, gas pedal and brake.  I traveled to places that had no pianos...

Now I enjoy playing the piano because I play because I want to.  I can read music so can play just about anything.  You'd likely have trouble naming any of the songs I play, however.  I still suck, but I take pleasure in my lack of talent.  My favorite song of late is "November Rain" by Gun's & Roses.  I think it sounds great when I play it.  It would probably sound better if I used those pedals but these days I just ignore them.  That's right...I'm that kind of rebel!

I don't currently own a piano but I am in the market when the right deal comes along.  It doesn't have to be great but it does need to be decent.  My last piano was a 1936 Stark upright.  Stark made mostly player pianos so this was a rare gem.  Most of the ivory was off the keys but otherwise it was fine.  I had it tuned and the tuning dude said it was a pretty decent piano.  He probably tells that to eveyone with an ugly piano.  I had that piano in the basement den in my condo in Milford.  When Barbara and I moved in together, I didn't want to pay to move it so I gave it to the first person that would take it away.  I paid nothing for it also (just the cost to move it) so...share it forward...

I'll get into the music I like in my next post...(oh, and my short experience with a guitar)...peace...

How Does a Novice Begin to Meditate?

That’s a very good question.  For me I just did it.  I had some idea from movies and TV but had never actually witnessed anyone meditating or asked anyone about it.  I never read books on how to meditate.  I would lie down on my bed, close my eyes and think about places I wanted to be and things I wanted to see.  At times, I would astral project: feel like my spirit left my body and I was my spirit.  My spirit would travel all over the world on these trips. 

Looking back, that wasn’t really meditation.  It was more like self-hypnosis.  Buddhists believe in a vastly different meditation.  You clear your mind.  Don’t seek anything and don’t try to see pretty pictures.  You bring your mind to where it was before you were born.  That is Zen.  No worries. 

The guy in the following post does a very good job of explaining, to the beginner or anyone, 10 simple steps to meditate in the Buddhist tradition:

http://stopandbreathe.com/2011/03/04/meditation-101-a-10-step-beginners-guide/

My next suggestion would be to go to a Zen Center.  They generally have meditation classes for beginners and then opportunities to chant (a form of meditation) and sit meditation with the members and others.  I am a member of the Providence Zen Center (PZC) in RI and also a member of the Kwan Um School of Zen.  The Kwan Um School has locations all over the US and in many other countries all over the world. The PZC has beginner meditation training classes on Wednesday nights at 6:30 and sometimes they have them on Sundays. They are free to the public.  Some on the internet call the Kwan Um School a cult.  That couldn’t be farther from the truth.  Whatever individuals wrote that were obviously making assumptions and probably never bothered to visit one of the many Zen Centers. 

The people that live at, work at and visit these centers are the nicest, kindest and mellowest people.  They ask nothing of newcomers like I feel I still am.  I am working on becoming a Dharma Teacher and they are trying to slow me down.  No one is encouraging it and none of them probably remember that I even have that interest.  When I discussed doing the 5 Precepts (a step in becoming a teacher) with one of our Dharma Teachers, he said slow down.  Everything will happen when it is supposed to happen.  He also told me the only thing I should be concerned about is practicing my mediation and concentrating on what is in front of me. 

The last time I sat with Jose, he asked me, “What is missing right now?”  I said after some hesitation, “Nothing.  I am at the Zen Center, we are talking.  No past or future just what is happening right now.”  He agreed.  He also added, “When you try to rush to become more enlightened, it just doesn’t work.  If you seek enlightenment, you won’t find it.  Don’t make anything.  Clear your mind and it may find you,” then he wacked my mat with his stick.  A symbolic gesture as in the old days, a monk in training would have been hit with that stick.  I’m not saying I’m a monk in training.  In the old days they did not let lay persons into these temples.  A Korean Zen Master brought his Zen teachings to the US and understood that things needed to be loosened up a bit to reach a much wider audience.

Okay, where was I?  I also understand that going into a Buddhist Temple can be intimidating for a newcomer.  It was very intimidating for me.  I wanted to go to such a temple in Boston when I was around 23 years old.  I walked by it over and over again when I walked to and from my car when I worked in the Back Bay.  I never went in.  Another 25 years went by before I finally entered the Providence Zen Center.  This is where I have learned the most about Zen and about meditating.  It took me 48 years to get to a Zen Temple.  I’m not complaining.  Things happen when they are supposed to.

Peace and clear mind!  If you have questions, feel free to ask them in the comments section…

The Way of the Human

I started this last night in Word and the damn thing disappeared on me and I hadn't saved it yet.  So I'm writing this in my blog which saves a draft like every 30 seconds.  Losing several paragraphs was annoying as I have no idea what I was writing about...well I remember a little.  Yes...this was very un-Zen-like behavior.  I'm human not a Zen robot. 

I finished the book "The Way of The Sufi."  It was a big disappointment.  It is an older book but not that that should matter.  The author...not sure who he felt his audience was.  Anyway, he pretty much discussed everything a Sufi wasn't and not really much of anything on what being a Sufi means.  I got pretty much just two things out of the book: 1. A Sufi is very similar to a Buddhist and 2. Rumi was a Sufi.  That's it...

I'm now reading the Qur'an.  I am also reading, The Power of Positive Thinking by Norman Vincent Peale.  The Qur'an was written very long ago (of course) and the latter book was originally printed in 1952 and then reprinted in 1978.  I have the 1978 edition and it was signed by the author.  The signature reads: "To my good friends Mary and Henry Holt.  God bless you always. Norman Vincent Peale, August 10, 1978."  Pretty cool.  The Holts, it appears, were/are writers also.  Maybe this book is worth something.  Maybe just an interesting story.  Whatever...

I don't just read religious and inspirational or self help type books.  I always have a novel going and usually pulp fiction crime/cop/lawyer stuff.  My favorite such author is Michael Connelly.  Right now I'm reading a book by John Grisham that is not his normal fair (or mine).  This is about an NFL second string quarterback who screws up big time and ends up playing for a team in Italy.  It appears they have what is known as the IFL (Italian Football League).  He gets paid only $30,000 but ends up falling in love with Italy and specifically, Parma, the city he lives in and plays for.  Three books at a time for me is pretty normal.

Where was I going with this?  I have no idea...I've got writer's block...cut me some slack.  I'm reading books on theology and philosophies for several reasons.  By understanding all the faiths of the world, it will better help me understand and appreciate my own faith.  By truly understanding all faiths and not just listening to propaganda created by hateful people, it will help me better understand everyone to better love everyone.  It's so simple yet so far away from so many.  People need to wake up.  Most people are asleep.  If all you have is love no matter what comes at you:  WOW!

Lastly, I am studying all faiths as part of my journey in Buddhism...

Out of Body Experience…Today!

Hello.  Interesting day.  Work was good. It was a Monday and I embraced Monday and, as a result, enjoyed my day.  Many people plan to hate Mondays, so they do.  Plan to have a bad day and you are pretty much guaranteed to have one.  Plan to have a good day and you may not have one (in your opinion) but…it is much more likely that you will.  There is really only one choice that makes any sense but many humans seem to enjoy making themselves miserable and then try to find someone or something to blame it on.

Okay…so to the topic.  I had regular out of body experiences in my late 30s.  I was around 37 and there was a 6 month or so period where I could have them at will.  It was wonderful.  I had them daily.  I bought a book on the topic and it said it could be addicting.  It sure was.  My spirit was always traveling.  I would mostly fly to the places I felt like going but sometimes I would find myself on a train to unknown places. By the way, when I said fly I don’t mean in a plane.  My spirit would fly.

I knew when it was going to happen.  I would hear noise in my ears and then I would leave my body through the top of my head.  In the book I read, it described it just like that.  The author described the noise as people talking (souls talking).  After reading that, I realized it did sound like that. Those were some great journeys.  I have not been able to do this now for a lot of years.  My experiences became fewer and farther between until I was about forty when the ability left me altogether.

Today was different.   I was out on my mountain bike.  It could have been an out of body experience or near death experience or an “I think I’m dying experience.”  It was hot so maybe it was just the heat but I was well hydrated.  Anyway…I was meditating on my ride.  I came to a point where the sky just looked serene.  The sun was shining through some clouds and I was overwhelmed with calm.  Then my chest got warmer and warmer and I briefly left my body.  I thought, but quite calmly, that perhaps I was having a heart attack and was going to die.  I didn’t panic as I was really ready to embrace the next place.  It wasn’t scary…it was peaceful.

Anyway, a short time later I was back, present on my bike and present on the trail.  It was a wonderful experience.  I don’t fear death.  Not because of what happened today.  I just don’t fear it.  I have faith.  It’s strong.  I’m strong.  God is within me!

Peace…

Awakening The Buddha Within

This is a book I recently finished, written by Lama Surya Das who, among other things, did two back to back three year silent retreats as a Buddhist Monk.  Then, like many, came to a point where monastic life no longer made sense.

Here are some thoughts or ideas brought up in the book:

Many of the unenlightened ask themselves things like:” When does my real life begin?”  “Is this all there is?”  “Why does life often seem barren and lonely?”  “Why is there so much anxiety, fear and doubt in my heart?”  In actuality, we create our own reality.

Enlightenment is not about becoming divine.  Quite the opposite as it is about becoming more fully human.  Enlightened living is a compassionate path.  Zen Master Dogen said, “To be enlightened is to be one with all things.”  Makes sense to me.  Every living thing on this planet is connected to every other.  That is not a theory.  That is a fact.  It’s just common sense.

The only place you are going to find your truth is in your genuine spiritual center.  Be who you are and where you are.  Be present.  Within you and all of God’s creatures there is an inner radiance.  The luminosity is birthless and deathless.  It carries unconditional compassion and love.  We can awaken it if we want to.  We can become enlightened.  Seek enlightenment and you will not find it but clear your mind and you may learn that it was there all the time.

Enlightenment means an end to directionless wandering…

Here’s a meditation:

Breathe, breathe again, smile, relax, arrive where you are, be present only where you are, get rid of the noise in your head, forget what was and what may be, be present now, make it about being and not doing, drop everything and let go, enjoy for a moment this marvelous joy of meditation…

Following a balanced, moderate path that is honest, straightforward and impeccable is living the Dharma.  Learning to live without excessive confusion, anger, clinging, vacillation or greed is following the Dharma.  Be in tune with things as they are…not as you would wish them to be.

Buddha is truth.  Buddha once said, “There is nirvanic peace in things left just as they are.”  It’s about letting go.  It’s like coming home.

There are Four Noble Truths in Tibetan Buddhism (and perhaps the Korean I am involved in).  They are:

1.       Life is difficult.

2.       Life is difficult because of attachment.  We crave satisfaction in inherently dissatisfying ways.

3.       The possibility of liberation from difficulties exists for everyone.

4.       The way to realize the liberation and enlightenment is by leading a compassionate life of virtue, wisdom and meditation.  These three spiritual trainings comprise the teachings of the Eight-Fold Path to Enlightenment.

Soon I will discuss the Eight-Fold Path.  Peace and God bless!

Leave Your Shoes and Karma at the Door

The journey to Enlightenment is a long and winding road.  I went to the Zen Center last night as Wednesday is the night I have set aside for group chanting and group seated meditation.  I was thinking of all kinds of reasons not to go last night. The biggest was easy:  the heat.  I was thinking: is that dharma room air conditioned?  You see, it’s all about me and my comfort…well, it shouldn’t be.  Anyway, I went and the dharma room is the only room in the place that has air conditioning.  Perhaps they don’t want people passing out all over the place.  We humans love to complain though.  “Oh it’s hot….it’s cold…it’s humid…it’s…”  Just deal with it.

I went and was pretty much distracted the whole time.  Wednesday has a lot going on that doesn’t occur on other nights.  It is the night they teach new visitors how to meditate and the rules of the place and then they join us in the dharma room at 7:30 for seated meditation.   Plus, Wednesday night is the night there is a Dharma Teacher or Zen Master present to do kong-an interviews with those who have things they would like to discuss in private.  As the meditations take place, a bell is rung when the teacher is ready for the next private meeting.

Anyway, I had trouble reading the chant book (I need to bring my reading glasses).  I was distracted by the sound of the air conditioner and that bell.   Then there were a large number of new people that came in at 7:30 which surprised me based on the heat.  The most interesting thing that happened during seated meditation was watching a bug crawl around on the hardwood floor.  It had trouble with every crack.  Watching this did help me stay in the moment but otherwise, I had trouble keeping my mind clear last night.

I spoke with a few people after meditation and they go on different nights often as there are none of these distractions on other nights.  No interviews and no new people coming in halfway through the evening.  I think I am going to start going on Tuesday nights instead of Wednesdays.  I need to have as few distractions as possible to get the most out of meditation.  Some would say one should be able to meditate through anything, even a tornado.  I guess I need more progress to get there.  One day at a time and all that.

It was a good night.  It was around 95 degrees out and humid.  I had time to go home before I went so I was able to change into shorts (comfort is certainly helpful while meditating).  I also went barefoot as it seemed like the right thing to do (you have to take your shoes off at the door anyway).  There’s something about walking into a place barefoot (and having it be okay) that gives one a sense of freedom.  That may sound silly and silly is okay.

When I pulled into the Zen Center, I was greeted by a rabbit that was hopping around the property.  Rabbits seem to be everywhere lately.  It was warm and I’m not going to complain about the heat.  I like it.  It does shock the system a bit to go from 75 to 95 in one day but our systems are tough.  People complain and say “when is summer going to arrive?” and then when it does, they complain that it’s too hot.  Why not except things as they are?  Can you control the weather or temperature?  No…so don’t sweat it (no pun intended…well actually it was intended).

Peace and clear mind.  Enjoy the summer.  If you feel like checking out the Zen Center (in Cumberland, RI) check it out.  You don’t have to be a Buddhist.  You just have to be human.  Personally, I don’t believe in religion.  I believe in God.  Buddhism is a philosophy for me.  Buddhists believe in God also by the way.  Buddhists accept everything and everyone.  Just leave your shoes and karma at the door…

Why Do Mondays Get Such a Bad Rap?

I'm 48 years old and have spent most of my life listening to people complaining about Mondays.  It's like these people WANT the day to be lousy.  I also think people just like to have SOMETHING to complain about.    I have been guilty of falling into this trap myself but not anymore.  Monday is just a day like any other day.  We can do whatever we want with it.  We can have a good day or a bad day.  If we wake up and immediately expect it to be bad, then it probably will be.  Send out negative energy into the universe and generally you will get it right back.  Send out positive energy and get something positive in return.

I know I am changing because I could easily say I had a horrible day yesterday but I will not.  Let me explain some things I dealt with yesterday which was a Monday.  First, I went to work.  That alone gives many people something to complain about.  Well, we have to work so why complain about it?  It is just one of our many roles and without money, what can we do?  Hmmm...but let's complain about it.  Well, I mean no, let's not.

Second, I started passing a kidney stone before lunch.  I've had them before.  It was moving in my kidney and got more and more painful as the day went on.  When I started sweating, I decided it was a good time to leave (at around 3:00) and go see my doctor.

Third, when I got to my doctor's office I learned he had passed away.  Now understand, he has been my doctor now for about 10 years, my general practitioner.  The most kind and gentle doctor you could ask for.  The nurse who was there was completely unfriendly which was unusual as she was normally always quite pleasant with me.  I am sure she was having difficulty dealing with the loss of the doctor.  His replacement was not working yet so the nurse told me quite nastily, "You'll have to go to the ER."  Well, I didn't go to the ER.  My situation did not warrant a 4 hour wait at any ER.  The me from 10 years ago would have told this woman off or at least called her on her poor attitude.  I just let it go.  It had nothing to do with me and even if it did, no need to stress myself out and again, who knows what kind of pain she was dealing with whether the loss of the doctor or perhaps she was concerned for her job.  The old me wouldn't have thought this way.  The old me would have reacted and reacted in an unpleasant manner.  "Who are YOU to treat ME like this?"  What good would that do and who am I?

It turns out my doctor needed emergency surgery (not sure what for) and didn't make it through surgery.  The old me would have been a stressed out mess over this.  "Now I have no doctor."  "Who am I going to get for a doctor?"  "What will he/she be like?"  "How long will it take me to find one?"  etc. etc. etc.  I was amazed I handled it all quite well.  The old me would have also felt the grief of his death even if we were not really close.  I understand now that death is a necessary end to THIS human life but not the end of our eternal existence.  Anyway, I have to find another doctor.  I didn't need to find one that minute.  I will need one the next time I need one.  I decided to go home and ride out the pain on my own.

Fourth, on the way home, while in tremendous pain, I stopped at a convenience store and locked my keys in my truck while it was running.  I kid you not. I have never done this before and don’t even understand how I did it.  If it’s not hot out, I usually keep the truck running when I make a quick stop at a store.  I must have accidently hit the lock on the inside of the door or something.  My old car wouldn’t lock…it would unlock if you tried to lock it while it was running or while the key was in the ignition.  Anyway, the old me would have flipped out by now…in pain, no doctor and now no way to get home (not too soon anyway).  So I’m stuck at the store in a lot of pain and I was still calm and serene.  This is NOT normal for me.  I have definitely grown. 

Anyway, I went in the store, which I have been going to for years, and asked Don (the manager) to use the phone.  I called my wife and she came and got me about 20 minutes later (she has an extra key to my truck on her key chain).  I got in my truck and went home and right to bed after taking a couple Advil.  My wife woke me up at some point and gave me a sandwich but I only vaguely remember.  I slept through the night after much difficulty getting comfortable.

I woke up this morning with no pain.  The kidney stone moved to another spot in my kidney and for now is not moving which means: no pain.  It’s only a matter of time before it decides to move again.  I won’t concern myself with that now.  I will deal with it when it happens like I did yesterday.  Hopefully the next time it moves, it will come all the way out (which is another bunch of pain in itself…I think you all understand).

Now come on, Mondays aren’t so bad are they?  Life is a series of moments that are happening NOW.  Take care of them when they happen…don’t worry about them before they happen.  That is just silly.  How can we take care of a problem that hasn’t happened yet?  Why worry about it?  I handled what life handed me yesterday just fine.  Why would I not do the same at any time in the future?

Peace my friends and stop hating Mondays.  It’s just another day!

The Zen of Eckhart Tolle

I just finished "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.  Yes, I'm a bit behind as this was written in 1999.  I read it when I was meant to read it...NOW. 

Here is some of what I learned:

Accept and then act.  Whatever the present moment brings, good or bad, accept it as if you chose it.  Work with it not against it.  Make it your friend not your enemy.  This will miraculously change your life.  A friend just complained about the traffic on the way to work.  She said she was aggravated.  This is self inflicted pain.  Look at the slow ride to work as a blessing.  Look out the window and see what is going on outside of the traffic jam.  Meditate.  Become one with the sounds of horns, cars running, etc.  Listen to some good music or listen to a CD of a book or something inspirational.  I have even read books while stuck in traffic although I would not suggest anyone else do it.  Enjoy the time you have instead of dreading it.  Dreading it is a choice and an unhealthy choice.  Embracing the situation is also a choice and a healthy one.  Seems silly to choose anything other than embracing the moment or moments we have in our brief lives here.

Get rid of fear.  It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia and so on.  This psychological fear is always about something that MIGHT happen, not something that is happening now.  If you are fearful, then your mind is in the future and it has no place being there.  You can always handle what is going on now (you have to).  You cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection - you cannot cope with the future.  Do you want fear to be your constant companion?  Is it healthy?

Get rid of your ego.  The most common ego identifications (who we think we are) have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems as well as political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective indentifications.  NONE of these is you.  The sooner we relinquish these things, the better, healthier and more serene we will be.  Sadly, most will not relinquish these until death.  The secret is to "die before you die" and find that there is no death.  In meditation, one can get an idea of what death is like, one can strip away the noise that is not who we really are.  We are who we were before we were born and after we die.  We are not the body we inhabit and we are not the noise in our heads.

The idea of Zen is to be so completely in the present that no problem, no suffering, nothing that is not WHO YOU ARE can survive in you.  In the NOW and in the absence of time, all problems dissolve.  The great Zen Master Rinzai would ask his students, "What, at this moment, is lacking?"  Rumi said, "Past and future veil God from our sight; burn up both of them with fire."  Lastly, Meister Eckhart suggested: "Time is what keeps the light from reaching us.  There is no greater obstacle to God than time."

"Problems" are illusions.  Example:  In an emergency situation, we are forced to live in the NOW.  In a true emergency, the mind stops, you become totally present in the NOW and something infinitely more powerful takes over.  This is why there are many reports of ordinary people suddenly being capable of incredibly courageouse acts.  In an emergency, you either survive or you don't.  Either way, it is not a problem.

Our outer purpose is not important.  Our inner purpose is very important.  The outer purpose is just a game that you may continue to play simply because you enjoy it.  You can fail completely in your outer purpose and still totally succeed in your inner purpose.  Or in the reverse, sadly, most people have outer riches and inner poverty.  Which would you choose?  The sooner you realize that your outer purpose cannot give you lasting fulfillment, the better.

Underneath your outer form, you are connected with something so vast, so immeasurable and sacred, that it cannot be conceived or spoken of.  You are connected with the universe.  You are connected with everything and everyone. Most people have lost there way and are, essentially, disconnected.  That is why they feel alone and are attached to their outer self and all the problems it brings.  Get in touch with your inner self and the universe you are part of and you will come to know peace.

True salvation is fulfillment, peace and life in all its fullness.  It is to feel the goodness within you that HAS NO OPPOSITE and the joy of being that depends on nothing outside itself.  In theistic language, it is to "know God" - not as something outside of you but within you.  "True salvation is to know yourself as an inseparable part of the timeless and formless One Life from which all that exists derives its being."

Surrender is important if you want to live in the NOW.  Until you practice surrender, the spiritual dimension is something you will just read about, get excited about, write books about, think about, believe in, etc.  Not until you surrender does it become a living reality in your life.  Through surrender, spiritual energy comes into the world.  It creates no suffering for yourself, for other humans or any other life form on the planet.  This is the idea of Zen: rid the world of suffering.  The mind creates suffering.

This was a great book.  I came across it in an odd way.  There was a quote from Eckhart Tolle on the signature line of an email from a friend.  I then learned he wrote this book which I had been aware of but never chose to read.  Then, it turned out my daughter had a copy of this book so I borrowed it.  Everything happens for a reason.  Surrender and you will be free!  The past is over and the future is a mystery...live NOW.  Now is all we have.

Peace!