Why Do Mondays Get Such a Bad Rap?

I'm 48 years old and have spent most of my life listening to people complaining about Mondays.  It's like these people WANT the day to be lousy.  I also think people just like to have SOMETHING to complain about.    I have been guilty of falling into this trap myself but not anymore.  Monday is just a day like any other day.  We can do whatever we want with it.  We can have a good day or a bad day.  If we wake up and immediately expect it to be bad, then it probably will be.  Send out negative energy into the universe and generally you will get it right back.  Send out positive energy and get something positive in return.

I know I am changing because I could easily say I had a horrible day yesterday but I will not.  Let me explain some things I dealt with yesterday which was a Monday.  First, I went to work.  That alone gives many people something to complain about.  Well, we have to work so why complain about it?  It is just one of our many roles and without money, what can we do?  Hmmm...but let's complain about it.  Well, I mean no, let's not.

Second, I started passing a kidney stone before lunch.  I've had them before.  It was moving in my kidney and got more and more painful as the day went on.  When I started sweating, I decided it was a good time to leave (at around 3:00) and go see my doctor.

Third, when I got to my doctor's office I learned he had passed away.  Now understand, he has been my doctor now for about 10 years, my general practitioner.  The most kind and gentle doctor you could ask for.  The nurse who was there was completely unfriendly which was unusual as she was normally always quite pleasant with me.  I am sure she was having difficulty dealing with the loss of the doctor.  His replacement was not working yet so the nurse told me quite nastily, "You'll have to go to the ER."  Well, I didn't go to the ER.  My situation did not warrant a 4 hour wait at any ER.  The me from 10 years ago would have told this woman off or at least called her on her poor attitude.  I just let it go.  It had nothing to do with me and even if it did, no need to stress myself out and again, who knows what kind of pain she was dealing with whether the loss of the doctor or perhaps she was concerned for her job.  The old me wouldn't have thought this way.  The old me would have reacted and reacted in an unpleasant manner.  "Who are YOU to treat ME like this?"  What good would that do and who am I?

It turns out my doctor needed emergency surgery (not sure what for) and didn't make it through surgery.  The old me would have been a stressed out mess over this.  "Now I have no doctor."  "Who am I going to get for a doctor?"  "What will he/she be like?"  "How long will it take me to find one?"  etc. etc. etc.  I was amazed I handled it all quite well.  The old me would have also felt the grief of his death even if we were not really close.  I understand now that death is a necessary end to THIS human life but not the end of our eternal existence.  Anyway, I have to find another doctor.  I didn't need to find one that minute.  I will need one the next time I need one.  I decided to go home and ride out the pain on my own.

Fourth, on the way home, while in tremendous pain, I stopped at a convenience store and locked my keys in my truck while it was running.  I kid you not. I have never done this before and don’t even understand how I did it.  If it’s not hot out, I usually keep the truck running when I make a quick stop at a store.  I must have accidently hit the lock on the inside of the door or something.  My old car wouldn’t lock…it would unlock if you tried to lock it while it was running or while the key was in the ignition.  Anyway, the old me would have flipped out by now…in pain, no doctor and now no way to get home (not too soon anyway).  So I’m stuck at the store in a lot of pain and I was still calm and serene.  This is NOT normal for me.  I have definitely grown. 

Anyway, I went in the store, which I have been going to for years, and asked Don (the manager) to use the phone.  I called my wife and she came and got me about 20 minutes later (she has an extra key to my truck on her key chain).  I got in my truck and went home and right to bed after taking a couple Advil.  My wife woke me up at some point and gave me a sandwich but I only vaguely remember.  I slept through the night after much difficulty getting comfortable.

I woke up this morning with no pain.  The kidney stone moved to another spot in my kidney and for now is not moving which means: no pain.  It’s only a matter of time before it decides to move again.  I won’t concern myself with that now.  I will deal with it when it happens like I did yesterday.  Hopefully the next time it moves, it will come all the way out (which is another bunch of pain in itself…I think you all understand).

Now come on, Mondays aren’t so bad are they?  Life is a series of moments that are happening NOW.  Take care of them when they happen…don’t worry about them before they happen.  That is just silly.  How can we take care of a problem that hasn’t happened yet?  Why worry about it?  I handled what life handed me yesterday just fine.  Why would I not do the same at any time in the future?

Peace my friends and stop hating Mondays.  It’s just another day!

The Zen of Eckhart Tolle

I just finished "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.  Yes, I'm a bit behind as this was written in 1999.  I read it when I was meant to read it...NOW. 

Here is some of what I learned:

Accept and then act.  Whatever the present moment brings, good or bad, accept it as if you chose it.  Work with it not against it.  Make it your friend not your enemy.  This will miraculously change your life.  A friend just complained about the traffic on the way to work.  She said she was aggravated.  This is self inflicted pain.  Look at the slow ride to work as a blessing.  Look out the window and see what is going on outside of the traffic jam.  Meditate.  Become one with the sounds of horns, cars running, etc.  Listen to some good music or listen to a CD of a book or something inspirational.  I have even read books while stuck in traffic although I would not suggest anyone else do it.  Enjoy the time you have instead of dreading it.  Dreading it is a choice and an unhealthy choice.  Embracing the situation is also a choice and a healthy one.  Seems silly to choose anything other than embracing the moment or moments we have in our brief lives here.

Get rid of fear.  It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia and so on.  This psychological fear is always about something that MIGHT happen, not something that is happening now.  If you are fearful, then your mind is in the future and it has no place being there.  You can always handle what is going on now (you have to).  You cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection - you cannot cope with the future.  Do you want fear to be your constant companion?  Is it healthy?

Get rid of your ego.  The most common ego identifications (who we think we are) have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems as well as political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective indentifications.  NONE of these is you.  The sooner we relinquish these things, the better, healthier and more serene we will be.  Sadly, most will not relinquish these until death.  The secret is to "die before you die" and find that there is no death.  In meditation, one can get an idea of what death is like, one can strip away the noise that is not who we really are.  We are who we were before we were born and after we die.  We are not the body we inhabit and we are not the noise in our heads.

The idea of Zen is to be so completely in the present that no problem, no suffering, nothing that is not WHO YOU ARE can survive in you.  In the NOW and in the absence of time, all problems dissolve.  The great Zen Master Rinzai would ask his students, "What, at this moment, is lacking?"  Rumi said, "Past and future veil God from our sight; burn up both of them with fire."  Lastly, Meister Eckhart suggested: "Time is what keeps the light from reaching us.  There is no greater obstacle to God than time."

"Problems" are illusions.  Example:  In an emergency situation, we are forced to live in the NOW.  In a true emergency, the mind stops, you become totally present in the NOW and something infinitely more powerful takes over.  This is why there are many reports of ordinary people suddenly being capable of incredibly courageouse acts.  In an emergency, you either survive or you don't.  Either way, it is not a problem.

Our outer purpose is not important.  Our inner purpose is very important.  The outer purpose is just a game that you may continue to play simply because you enjoy it.  You can fail completely in your outer purpose and still totally succeed in your inner purpose.  Or in the reverse, sadly, most people have outer riches and inner poverty.  Which would you choose?  The sooner you realize that your outer purpose cannot give you lasting fulfillment, the better.

Underneath your outer form, you are connected with something so vast, so immeasurable and sacred, that it cannot be conceived or spoken of.  You are connected with the universe.  You are connected with everything and everyone. Most people have lost there way and are, essentially, disconnected.  That is why they feel alone and are attached to their outer self and all the problems it brings.  Get in touch with your inner self and the universe you are part of and you will come to know peace.

True salvation is fulfillment, peace and life in all its fullness.  It is to feel the goodness within you that HAS NO OPPOSITE and the joy of being that depends on nothing outside itself.  In theistic language, it is to "know God" - not as something outside of you but within you.  "True salvation is to know yourself as an inseparable part of the timeless and formless One Life from which all that exists derives its being."

Surrender is important if you want to live in the NOW.  Until you practice surrender, the spiritual dimension is something you will just read about, get excited about, write books about, think about, believe in, etc.  Not until you surrender does it become a living reality in your life.  Through surrender, spiritual energy comes into the world.  It creates no suffering for yourself, for other humans or any other life form on the planet.  This is the idea of Zen: rid the world of suffering.  The mind creates suffering.

This was a great book.  I came across it in an odd way.  There was a quote from Eckhart Tolle on the signature line of an email from a friend.  I then learned he wrote this book which I had been aware of but never chose to read.  Then, it turned out my daughter had a copy of this book so I borrowed it.  Everything happens for a reason.  Surrender and you will be free!  The past is over and the future is a mystery...live NOW.  Now is all we have.

Peace!

You Can’t Look For a Clear Mind

I learned that tonight.  Tonight was my night to go to the Zen Center but I decided to meditate at home instead.  I was craving the outdoors.  I meditated in a chair in my front yard, getting some sun on my face off and on as the sun set.

My first visitor was a spider.  There was a potted plant next to me and it must have been in there, seen me and decided I was worth checking out.  He just nudged my arm as he walked along the arm of the chair.  I knocked him onto the ground so he could take his business elsewhere.

I was also visited by the rabbit in the picture above.  A small one, young I guess.  He was living in the now, about to run as I was getting closer, living each moment in the moment.  Present!

I closed my eyes and enjoyed some sun.  There was a great red/orange light that penetrated my eyelids when the sun was shining.  It felt like my whole body was enveloped in that light.  The light later became yellow and eventually turned purple.

I also enjoyed all of the sounds of the outdoors.  One particular bird was singing away and almost seemed to be singing to me.  There were other birds all over.  I could also hear cars on the road and other sounds of the outdoors.  I listened and enjoyed every minute.  I was one with the sounds instead of being a bystander.

I had a big smile on my face for much of this meditation.  I didn’t even realize that I was smiling because I was living in the NOW!  My mind was clear and I accepted what was developing around me.  It was peaceful.  Serene!  If we allow ourselves even brief moments of such noiseless (no junk in our minds) living, the better we will be.  The more often we can be free of noise in our heads, the more it becomes a habit…the more we enjoy life and the longer and happier we live.

I meditated for 2 hours.  It was great.  The past is history and the future is a mystery.  Live now because now is all we have.  Our minds just try to fool us into thinking otherwise...

For a short time today I was truly PRESENT!

Overnight Stay at PZC - Not Good Not Bad

Okay.  I didn't have a great night last night.  I went to the Zen Center in Cumberland planning to stay overnight after 2 hours of meditation.  I knew I was going to be late for dinner so I ate before I got there.  On the website for the center there are pictures of some very neat and clean rooms (and I have seen some of these nice rooms).  I got to the Center with some time before the first meditation so I checked out my room.  Now, understand, this is not supposed to be something to complain about.  A room is a room just like food is food.  It serves a purpose but it certainly isn't supposed to be luxurious (just like food is about nutrition not taste) and I didn't expect it to be.  It was, however, very disappointing and I feel bad that I feel this way.  The room was dirty, dusty, dusty cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling, etc.  It appears my room was in a section of the building that had been igrnored for a long time.  I have seen some of the rooms there and they are very nice.

I had a choice of two twin beds: one that was soft and noisy and one that was as hard as a rock and quiet.  I slept on the noisy one.  After meditating until 8:30, I went to my room and settled in.  I had my laptop with me so I spent a little time on the internet (they have WIFI) and then I read until 11:00 when I went to bed.  I woke up at 1:30am and just couldn't fall back to sleep.  My asthma was also bothering me (probably due to all of the dust) and I didn't have an inhaler with me.  I was miserable but tried to stick it out until 5:00am when the gong would sound and we would all go to the Dharma Room for bows and meditation until 7:00.  I ended up going home at 3:00am.  I was exhausted.

The whole night was tough really.  I had trouble getting clear during seated meditation and my back was killing me.  I guess I picked the wrong night to stay overnight.  I was in a bad mood when I got there also (I was carrying around a lot of karma that I should have left at the door but was unable to).

Clear mind is the idea.  It was tough last night.  I will try again another time and soon.  How am I going to do a multi-day retreat if I can't handle a night?  Don't know...it's all a learning experience.  If you look for something, you won't find it.  If you clear your mind, it may find you.

Peace!

BSTRA Ride-Roll-Run Relay: A Great Example of Living in the NOW!

It was a good race on Sunday.  I found out about the race from a friend I work with.  We have been on trail committees together also.  Anyway, I’m a mountain biker and love the kind of riding that was required in this race: cross country on and off road.  29er tires pumped up hard and ready to go fast.

I didn’t know either of my team-mates prior to race day.  Becky was our horse rider (and the head of BSTRA…nice that!).  Jessie was our runner.  A cute young lady that was built lean like a runner (I was once a runner in another life).  We kicked butt.  The horses went first (6.8 miles) and Becky was the second one to the transition area.  The first biker on the course headed out about 10 minutes ahead of me. Then it was my turn.

I got on my Stump Jumper 29er and took off.  I had ridden the course several times before the race and was completely confident in my ability to blaze the trail.  I expected to do a time of about 35 minutes.  I finished in 31 minutes and was THE FASTEST BIKER!  I passed the bracelet to Jessie and she was off on the 5 mile run course.  I have no idea how she did for time (not posted on the BSTRA page yet) but she did great as we came in First Place!  “The Good, The Bad and The Ugly” was our team name.  If my memory is accurate: we came in at 2:07:00, 2^nd was 2:10:00 and 3^rd was 2:13:00, so it was a close one.  All I know is, I went as fast as I could and never looked behind me.  Actually, I could have gone faster...

We got nice medals with blue ribbons. I love stuff like this.  I’m competitive to the point of lunacy.  I can tell you this: I don’t remember much about my race. I was on auto pilot almost.  I was on a mission.  I was the epitome of living right now…right then.  Nothing else mattered, just getting over that course as fast as possible. I now know I can break 30 minutes and that will be my goal if they have the race again next year and I hope they do.  It was a great idea for a relay race, especially since the idea is to promote all these ways of enjoying the 5000+ acres in the Douglas State Forest and other trail systems.

This was my first “race” in a very long time.  I had to stop running due to bad knees.  I was heading to a point where I was going to need my right knee replaced.  I loved road races.  I’ll have to find at least one more race for this year…two more would be better.

This race again, was a great example of Right Now thinking.  A mountain bike race meditation!  It was about getting through that course as fast as possible, big ring most of the time in the woods, keeping the eyes open for obstacles on the trails and making sure to have plenty of momentum on the rolling uphills.  Of course, for me, it was also important to ride that course several times before race day.  This turned out to serve me well as many riders got lost due to poor planning and to be fair, the course could have been marked a bit better.

I’m sleeping over at the Zen Center Wednesday night.  I will have some info on that after…

Peace and clear mind…

Three Rabbits and a Dead Cat

Went for a bike ride after work yesterday.  It was a beautiful day.  Was tired and was going to stay home but dragged the bike out and headed for the woods.  Saw a rabbit right away, scampering along doing its thing.  Living in the NOW.  Then there were two more and who knows what those two were up to.  They were all enjoying a marvelous day.  They weren't carrying around anything from the past and they weren't concerned about anything other than what they were doing at that moment.  Marvelous!  It was said before but we can learn a lot from the animal world.

Eventually went to a place to do some hill work (to get stronger at climbing hills).  At the top of the hill there was a dead cat that must have recently been hit by a car.  It looked like my cat Simon, a ragdoll.  They should never go outside. They are not smart about traffic and they are too trusting.  It probably got loose.  This was sad to see but Zen teaches that there is no difference between that dead cat and those living rabbits.

We all come and go on this planet (and perhaps to others).  We live many lives in physical form and our true selves live forever.  That cat's journey in that particular role is over.  We all have roles in our daily lives and roles in each of our lives.  These "roles" are not who we really are.  Who we really are is what we were before we were born and after we die.  It should be a happy time to go back home.  The cat is back home and perhaps soon to receive a new role.  Life and death is the same in Zen as the true self never dies.  The cat is not dead it just no longer needs that particular shell.  That dead cat is not the cat.  Make sense?

This relates well to what is now going on with Ralphy, my dog.  He is going on 15 years old and has been sick off and on for the last year or so.  He has dimentia and can't hear or see very well.  He also is not drinking enough water and is getting constantly dehydrated.  He has been to the vet regularly lately, most recently for a large lump on his neck.  It is getting better with antibiotics.  His dimentia is better with meds.  He sleeps better with the help of Xanax, a tranquilizer.  This life journey for him is coming to a close.  It is sad.  He is part of the family and has been for a long time.  But, it is also not sad because soon he is going back home.

Death is a part of life and life is part of a bigger picture which is beyond what most of us can understand.  We are not the body we inhabit.  We are what is left when our body is gone.  We are what we were before we were born.  We are as infinite as the universe.

Peace and clear mind...

Be the Hawk

This reminds me of last weekend when I was riding in Franklin.  I had to ride through some trails along high tension wires.  A red tail flew above me from behind and landed on the next furthest stanchion, up on the top.  The wires were buzzing loud.  I wondered how they know what they can and can’t sit on.  I decided to be the hawk, to try out the Zen I have been practicing.

When I got close enough, it flew off and headed for the next furthest stanchion away and watched me.  It was watching me the whole time.  Anyway, eventually we both lost interest and I headed down a nice downhill single track that runs from the YMCA in Franklin to Grove Street.   Normally, I have to say (and those that ride with me will agree) I’m a pretty timid rider.  Well, on this downhill I glided smooth and fast and felt like I was soaring or flying.  For a short time, I WAS the hawk.  That was cool.  The feeling was gone before I got to Grove Street but fun while it lasted.

On the opposite side of the coin today, I came home and got myself all riled up because my light for my bike wouldn’t work right.  There is something wrong with the battery pack.  I spent so much time trying to fix it and getting worked up, I ended up deciding to go to the gym only to blow that off too.  I was the battery pack when I came home.  I made myself a piece of technology…busted technology.  That didn’t make much sense.  When I was the hawk, I was free.  When I was stuck inside technology, I was a mess.  There is a moral there…

Peace...clear mind!