Out of Body Experience…Today!

Hello.  Interesting day.  Work was good. It was a Monday and I embraced Monday and, as a result, enjoyed my day.  Many people plan to hate Mondays, so they do.  Plan to have a bad day and you are pretty much guaranteed to have one.  Plan to have a good day and you may not have one (in your opinion) but…it is much more likely that you will.  There is really only one choice that makes any sense but many humans seem to enjoy making themselves miserable and then try to find someone or something to blame it on.

Okay…so to the topic.  I had regular out of body experiences in my late 30s.  I was around 37 and there was a 6 month or so period where I could have them at will.  It was wonderful.  I had them daily.  I bought a book on the topic and it said it could be addicting.  It sure was.  My spirit was always traveling.  I would mostly fly to the places I felt like going but sometimes I would find myself on a train to unknown places. By the way, when I said fly I don’t mean in a plane.  My spirit would fly.

I knew when it was going to happen.  I would hear noise in my ears and then I would leave my body through the top of my head.  In the book I read, it described it just like that.  The author described the noise as people talking (souls talking).  After reading that, I realized it did sound like that. Those were some great journeys.  I have not been able to do this now for a lot of years.  My experiences became fewer and farther between until I was about forty when the ability left me altogether.

Today was different.   I was out on my mountain bike.  It could have been an out of body experience or near death experience or an “I think I’m dying experience.”  It was hot so maybe it was just the heat but I was well hydrated.  Anyway…I was meditating on my ride.  I came to a point where the sky just looked serene.  The sun was shining through some clouds and I was overwhelmed with calm.  Then my chest got warmer and warmer and I briefly left my body.  I thought, but quite calmly, that perhaps I was having a heart attack and was going to die.  I didn’t panic as I was really ready to embrace the next place.  It wasn’t scary…it was peaceful.

Anyway, a short time later I was back, present on my bike and present on the trail.  It was a wonderful experience.  I don’t fear death.  Not because of what happened today.  I just don’t fear it.  I have faith.  It’s strong.  I’m strong.  God is within me!

Peace…

Awakening The Buddha Within

This is a book I recently finished, written by Lama Surya Das who, among other things, did two back to back three year silent retreats as a Buddhist Monk.  Then, like many, came to a point where monastic life no longer made sense.

Here are some thoughts or ideas brought up in the book:

Many of the unenlightened ask themselves things like:” When does my real life begin?”  “Is this all there is?”  “Why does life often seem barren and lonely?”  “Why is there so much anxiety, fear and doubt in my heart?”  In actuality, we create our own reality.

Enlightenment is not about becoming divine.  Quite the opposite as it is about becoming more fully human.  Enlightened living is a compassionate path.  Zen Master Dogen said, “To be enlightened is to be one with all things.”  Makes sense to me.  Every living thing on this planet is connected to every other.  That is not a theory.  That is a fact.  It’s just common sense.

The only place you are going to find your truth is in your genuine spiritual center.  Be who you are and where you are.  Be present.  Within you and all of God’s creatures there is an inner radiance.  The luminosity is birthless and deathless.  It carries unconditional compassion and love.  We can awaken it if we want to.  We can become enlightened.  Seek enlightenment and you will not find it but clear your mind and you may learn that it was there all the time.

Enlightenment means an end to directionless wandering…

Here’s a meditation:

Breathe, breathe again, smile, relax, arrive where you are, be present only where you are, get rid of the noise in your head, forget what was and what may be, be present now, make it about being and not doing, drop everything and let go, enjoy for a moment this marvelous joy of meditation…

Following a balanced, moderate path that is honest, straightforward and impeccable is living the Dharma.  Learning to live without excessive confusion, anger, clinging, vacillation or greed is following the Dharma.  Be in tune with things as they are…not as you would wish them to be.

Buddha is truth.  Buddha once said, “There is nirvanic peace in things left just as they are.”  It’s about letting go.  It’s like coming home.

There are Four Noble Truths in Tibetan Buddhism (and perhaps the Korean I am involved in).  They are:

1.       Life is difficult.

2.       Life is difficult because of attachment.  We crave satisfaction in inherently dissatisfying ways.

3.       The possibility of liberation from difficulties exists for everyone.

4.       The way to realize the liberation and enlightenment is by leading a compassionate life of virtue, wisdom and meditation.  These three spiritual trainings comprise the teachings of the Eight-Fold Path to Enlightenment.

Soon I will discuss the Eight-Fold Path.  Peace and God bless!

Leave Your Shoes and Karma at the Door

The journey to Enlightenment is a long and winding road.  I went to the Zen Center last night as Wednesday is the night I have set aside for group chanting and group seated meditation.  I was thinking of all kinds of reasons not to go last night. The biggest was easy:  the heat.  I was thinking: is that dharma room air conditioned?  You see, it’s all about me and my comfort…well, it shouldn’t be.  Anyway, I went and the dharma room is the only room in the place that has air conditioning.  Perhaps they don’t want people passing out all over the place.  We humans love to complain though.  “Oh it’s hot….it’s cold…it’s humid…it’s…”  Just deal with it.

I went and was pretty much distracted the whole time.  Wednesday has a lot going on that doesn’t occur on other nights.  It is the night they teach new visitors how to meditate and the rules of the place and then they join us in the dharma room at 7:30 for seated meditation.   Plus, Wednesday night is the night there is a Dharma Teacher or Zen Master present to do kong-an interviews with those who have things they would like to discuss in private.  As the meditations take place, a bell is rung when the teacher is ready for the next private meeting.

Anyway, I had trouble reading the chant book (I need to bring my reading glasses).  I was distracted by the sound of the air conditioner and that bell.   Then there were a large number of new people that came in at 7:30 which surprised me based on the heat.  The most interesting thing that happened during seated meditation was watching a bug crawl around on the hardwood floor.  It had trouble with every crack.  Watching this did help me stay in the moment but otherwise, I had trouble keeping my mind clear last night.

I spoke with a few people after meditation and they go on different nights often as there are none of these distractions on other nights.  No interviews and no new people coming in halfway through the evening.  I think I am going to start going on Tuesday nights instead of Wednesdays.  I need to have as few distractions as possible to get the most out of meditation.  Some would say one should be able to meditate through anything, even a tornado.  I guess I need more progress to get there.  One day at a time and all that.

It was a good night.  It was around 95 degrees out and humid.  I had time to go home before I went so I was able to change into shorts (comfort is certainly helpful while meditating).  I also went barefoot as it seemed like the right thing to do (you have to take your shoes off at the door anyway).  There’s something about walking into a place barefoot (and having it be okay) that gives one a sense of freedom.  That may sound silly and silly is okay.

When I pulled into the Zen Center, I was greeted by a rabbit that was hopping around the property.  Rabbits seem to be everywhere lately.  It was warm and I’m not going to complain about the heat.  I like it.  It does shock the system a bit to go from 75 to 95 in one day but our systems are tough.  People complain and say “when is summer going to arrive?” and then when it does, they complain that it’s too hot.  Why not except things as they are?  Can you control the weather or temperature?  No…so don’t sweat it (no pun intended…well actually it was intended).

Peace and clear mind.  Enjoy the summer.  If you feel like checking out the Zen Center (in Cumberland, RI) check it out.  You don’t have to be a Buddhist.  You just have to be human.  Personally, I don’t believe in religion.  I believe in God.  Buddhism is a philosophy for me.  Buddhists believe in God also by the way.  Buddhists accept everything and everyone.  Just leave your shoes and karma at the door…

Why Do Mondays Get Such a Bad Rap?

I'm 48 years old and have spent most of my life listening to people complaining about Mondays.  It's like these people WANT the day to be lousy.  I also think people just like to have SOMETHING to complain about.    I have been guilty of falling into this trap myself but not anymore.  Monday is just a day like any other day.  We can do whatever we want with it.  We can have a good day or a bad day.  If we wake up and immediately expect it to be bad, then it probably will be.  Send out negative energy into the universe and generally you will get it right back.  Send out positive energy and get something positive in return.

I know I am changing because I could easily say I had a horrible day yesterday but I will not.  Let me explain some things I dealt with yesterday which was a Monday.  First, I went to work.  That alone gives many people something to complain about.  Well, we have to work so why complain about it?  It is just one of our many roles and without money, what can we do?  Hmmm...but let's complain about it.  Well, I mean no, let's not.

Second, I started passing a kidney stone before lunch.  I've had them before.  It was moving in my kidney and got more and more painful as the day went on.  When I started sweating, I decided it was a good time to leave (at around 3:00) and go see my doctor.

Third, when I got to my doctor's office I learned he had passed away.  Now understand, he has been my doctor now for about 10 years, my general practitioner.  The most kind and gentle doctor you could ask for.  The nurse who was there was completely unfriendly which was unusual as she was normally always quite pleasant with me.  I am sure she was having difficulty dealing with the loss of the doctor.  His replacement was not working yet so the nurse told me quite nastily, "You'll have to go to the ER."  Well, I didn't go to the ER.  My situation did not warrant a 4 hour wait at any ER.  The me from 10 years ago would have told this woman off or at least called her on her poor attitude.  I just let it go.  It had nothing to do with me and even if it did, no need to stress myself out and again, who knows what kind of pain she was dealing with whether the loss of the doctor or perhaps she was concerned for her job.  The old me wouldn't have thought this way.  The old me would have reacted and reacted in an unpleasant manner.  "Who are YOU to treat ME like this?"  What good would that do and who am I?

It turns out my doctor needed emergency surgery (not sure what for) and didn't make it through surgery.  The old me would have been a stressed out mess over this.  "Now I have no doctor."  "Who am I going to get for a doctor?"  "What will he/she be like?"  "How long will it take me to find one?"  etc. etc. etc.  I was amazed I handled it all quite well.  The old me would have also felt the grief of his death even if we were not really close.  I understand now that death is a necessary end to THIS human life but not the end of our eternal existence.  Anyway, I have to find another doctor.  I didn't need to find one that minute.  I will need one the next time I need one.  I decided to go home and ride out the pain on my own.

Fourth, on the way home, while in tremendous pain, I stopped at a convenience store and locked my keys in my truck while it was running.  I kid you not. I have never done this before and don’t even understand how I did it.  If it’s not hot out, I usually keep the truck running when I make a quick stop at a store.  I must have accidently hit the lock on the inside of the door or something.  My old car wouldn’t lock…it would unlock if you tried to lock it while it was running or while the key was in the ignition.  Anyway, the old me would have flipped out by now…in pain, no doctor and now no way to get home (not too soon anyway).  So I’m stuck at the store in a lot of pain and I was still calm and serene.  This is NOT normal for me.  I have definitely grown. 

Anyway, I went in the store, which I have been going to for years, and asked Don (the manager) to use the phone.  I called my wife and she came and got me about 20 minutes later (she has an extra key to my truck on her key chain).  I got in my truck and went home and right to bed after taking a couple Advil.  My wife woke me up at some point and gave me a sandwich but I only vaguely remember.  I slept through the night after much difficulty getting comfortable.

I woke up this morning with no pain.  The kidney stone moved to another spot in my kidney and for now is not moving which means: no pain.  It’s only a matter of time before it decides to move again.  I won’t concern myself with that now.  I will deal with it when it happens like I did yesterday.  Hopefully the next time it moves, it will come all the way out (which is another bunch of pain in itself…I think you all understand).

Now come on, Mondays aren’t so bad are they?  Life is a series of moments that are happening NOW.  Take care of them when they happen…don’t worry about them before they happen.  That is just silly.  How can we take care of a problem that hasn’t happened yet?  Why worry about it?  I handled what life handed me yesterday just fine.  Why would I not do the same at any time in the future?

Peace my friends and stop hating Mondays.  It’s just another day!

The Zen of Eckhart Tolle

I just finished "The Power of Now" by Eckhart Tolle.  Yes, I'm a bit behind as this was written in 1999.  I read it when I was meant to read it...NOW. 

Here is some of what I learned:

Accept and then act.  Whatever the present moment brings, good or bad, accept it as if you chose it.  Work with it not against it.  Make it your friend not your enemy.  This will miraculously change your life.  A friend just complained about the traffic on the way to work.  She said she was aggravated.  This is self inflicted pain.  Look at the slow ride to work as a blessing.  Look out the window and see what is going on outside of the traffic jam.  Meditate.  Become one with the sounds of horns, cars running, etc.  Listen to some good music or listen to a CD of a book or something inspirational.  I have even read books while stuck in traffic although I would not suggest anyone else do it.  Enjoy the time you have instead of dreading it.  Dreading it is a choice and an unhealthy choice.  Embracing the situation is also a choice and a healthy one.  Seems silly to choose anything other than embracing the moment or moments we have in our brief lives here.

Get rid of fear.  It comes in many forms: unease, worry, anxiety, nervousness, tension, dread, phobia and so on.  This psychological fear is always about something that MIGHT happen, not something that is happening now.  If you are fearful, then your mind is in the future and it has no place being there.  You can always handle what is going on now (you have to).  You cannot cope with something that is only a mind projection - you cannot cope with the future.  Do you want fear to be your constant companion?  Is it healthy?

Get rid of your ego.  The most common ego identifications (who we think we are) have to do with possessions, the work you do, social status and recognition, knowledge and education, physical appearance, special abilities, relationships, personal and family history, belief systems as well as political, nationalistic, racial, religious and other collective indentifications.  NONE of these is you.  The sooner we relinquish these things, the better, healthier and more serene we will be.  Sadly, most will not relinquish these until death.  The secret is to "die before you die" and find that there is no death.  In meditation, one can get an idea of what death is like, one can strip away the noise that is not who we really are.  We are who we were before we were born and after we die.  We are not the body we inhabit and we are not the noise in our heads.

The idea of Zen is to be so completely in the present that no problem, no suffering, nothing that is not WHO YOU ARE can survive in you.  In the NOW and in the absence of time, all problems dissolve.  The great Zen Master Rinzai would ask his students, "What, at this moment, is lacking?"  Rumi said, "Past and future veil God from our sight; burn up both of them with fire."  Lastly, Meister Eckhart suggested: "Time is what keeps the light from reaching us.  There is no greater obstacle to God than time."

"Problems" are illusions.  Example:  In an emergency situation, we are forced to live in the NOW.  In a true emergency, the mind stops, you become totally present in the NOW and something infinitely more powerful takes over.  This is why there are many reports of ordinary people suddenly being capable of incredibly courageouse acts.  In an emergency, you either survive or you don't.  Either way, it is not a problem.

Our outer purpose is not important.  Our inner purpose is very important.  The outer purpose is just a game that you may continue to play simply because you enjoy it.  You can fail completely in your outer purpose and still totally succeed in your inner purpose.  Or in the reverse, sadly, most people have outer riches and inner poverty.  Which would you choose?  The sooner you realize that your outer purpose cannot give you lasting fulfillment, the better.

Underneath your outer form, you are connected with something so vast, so immeasurable and sacred, that it cannot be conceived or spoken of.  You are connected with the universe.  You are connected with everything and everyone. Most people have lost there way and are, essentially, disconnected.  That is why they feel alone and are attached to their outer self and all the problems it brings.  Get in touch with your inner self and the universe you are part of and you will come to know peace.

True salvation is fulfillment, peace and life in all its fullness.  It is to feel the goodness within you that HAS NO OPPOSITE and the joy of being that depends on nothing outside itself.  In theistic language, it is to "know God" - not as something outside of you but within you.  "True salvation is to know yourself as an inseparable part of the timeless and formless One Life from which all that exists derives its being."

Surrender is important if you want to live in the NOW.  Until you practice surrender, the spiritual dimension is something you will just read about, get excited about, write books about, think about, believe in, etc.  Not until you surrender does it become a living reality in your life.  Through surrender, spiritual energy comes into the world.  It creates no suffering for yourself, for other humans or any other life form on the planet.  This is the idea of Zen: rid the world of suffering.  The mind creates suffering.

This was a great book.  I came across it in an odd way.  There was a quote from Eckhart Tolle on the signature line of an email from a friend.  I then learned he wrote this book which I had been aware of but never chose to read.  Then, it turned out my daughter had a copy of this book so I borrowed it.  Everything happens for a reason.  Surrender and you will be free!  The past is over and the future is a mystery...live NOW.  Now is all we have.

Peace!

You Can’t Look For a Clear Mind

I learned that tonight.  Tonight was my night to go to the Zen Center but I decided to meditate at home instead.  I was craving the outdoors.  I meditated in a chair in my front yard, getting some sun on my face off and on as the sun set.

My first visitor was a spider.  There was a potted plant next to me and it must have been in there, seen me and decided I was worth checking out.  He just nudged my arm as he walked along the arm of the chair.  I knocked him onto the ground so he could take his business elsewhere.

I was also visited by the rabbit in the picture above.  A small one, young I guess.  He was living in the now, about to run as I was getting closer, living each moment in the moment.  Present!

I closed my eyes and enjoyed some sun.  There was a great red/orange light that penetrated my eyelids when the sun was shining.  It felt like my whole body was enveloped in that light.  The light later became yellow and eventually turned purple.

I also enjoyed all of the sounds of the outdoors.  One particular bird was singing away and almost seemed to be singing to me.  There were other birds all over.  I could also hear cars on the road and other sounds of the outdoors.  I listened and enjoyed every minute.  I was one with the sounds instead of being a bystander.

I had a big smile on my face for much of this meditation.  I didn’t even realize that I was smiling because I was living in the NOW!  My mind was clear and I accepted what was developing around me.  It was peaceful.  Serene!  If we allow ourselves even brief moments of such noiseless (no junk in our minds) living, the better we will be.  The more often we can be free of noise in our heads, the more it becomes a habit…the more we enjoy life and the longer and happier we live.

I meditated for 2 hours.  It was great.  The past is history and the future is a mystery.  Live now because now is all we have.  Our minds just try to fool us into thinking otherwise...

For a short time today I was truly PRESENT!

Overnight Stay at PZC - Not Good Not Bad

Okay.  I didn't have a great night last night.  I went to the Zen Center in Cumberland planning to stay overnight after 2 hours of meditation.  I knew I was going to be late for dinner so I ate before I got there.  On the website for the center there are pictures of some very neat and clean rooms (and I have seen some of these nice rooms).  I got to the Center with some time before the first meditation so I checked out my room.  Now, understand, this is not supposed to be something to complain about.  A room is a room just like food is food.  It serves a purpose but it certainly isn't supposed to be luxurious (just like food is about nutrition not taste) and I didn't expect it to be.  It was, however, very disappointing and I feel bad that I feel this way.  The room was dirty, dusty, dusty cobwebs in the corners of the ceiling, etc.  It appears my room was in a section of the building that had been igrnored for a long time.  I have seen some of the rooms there and they are very nice.

I had a choice of two twin beds: one that was soft and noisy and one that was as hard as a rock and quiet.  I slept on the noisy one.  After meditating until 8:30, I went to my room and settled in.  I had my laptop with me so I spent a little time on the internet (they have WIFI) and then I read until 11:00 when I went to bed.  I woke up at 1:30am and just couldn't fall back to sleep.  My asthma was also bothering me (probably due to all of the dust) and I didn't have an inhaler with me.  I was miserable but tried to stick it out until 5:00am when the gong would sound and we would all go to the Dharma Room for bows and meditation until 7:00.  I ended up going home at 3:00am.  I was exhausted.

The whole night was tough really.  I had trouble getting clear during seated meditation and my back was killing me.  I guess I picked the wrong night to stay overnight.  I was in a bad mood when I got there also (I was carrying around a lot of karma that I should have left at the door but was unable to).

Clear mind is the idea.  It was tough last night.  I will try again another time and soon.  How am I going to do a multi-day retreat if I can't handle a night?  Don't know...it's all a learning experience.  If you look for something, you won't find it.  If you clear your mind, it may find you.

Peace!